With 2019 passed the era of casual sex and dating.
Being a little dramatic aren’t we, Jonathan? The lockdowns eventually ended and life, more or less, went back to normal. — You might be thinking.
I’m going to get into the risky business of making predictions, I’m writing this in April 2020 and I think that the dating game is going to be irrevocably changed from here on out.
I’m going to break down in this chapter the strategies and lifehacks for dating in the COVID-19 era but first forgive me for a bit of philosophical preamble, making the case why the game has changed…
Storytime — Makin’ luv in the club
The summer of 2010, was a wild summer for me, I had sex with three different girls in three different nightclubs and I only got caught by security once…
- The first girl, I pulled into a darkened corner of a storage room after some lusty bump’n grinding to hip hop, and did her standing-Doggystyle with her bent over a crate, about 15 minutes after I had met her on the dancefloor.
- The second girl, I pulled into a secluded VIP area of a nightclub after about a half-hour of dancing, we were making out on a big, comfy couch, so I slipped a condom on, she pulled her tight little shorts to the side, climbed on top and rode me, cowgirl.
- The third girl, I had hooked up with the weekend before, it was her birthday, she was drunk, I led her into a closed-off corner of the club and banged her on a white leather nightclub bench.
…which at the time I was pretty proud of, now, not so much, like nearly everybody else in my generation I was sliding down that slippery slope into heady hedonism. So 2010 goes into my book as the height of hookup culture. In retrospect, I remark at how insane it is that those girls would have such casual, public sex with a guy in a club…
- What if the condom broke and they got pregnant or an STD? It’s one thing to get pregnant or catch an STD from a guy that you’re dating and know a little bit, but from some guy you just met at a nightclub!
- I’m pretty sure that having sex in a public venue is some sort of crime. Weren’t they the least a bit worried about being arrested or cited by the police?
- Shouldn’t they be totally embarrassed that their friends might see them sucking some random dude’s dick at a club?
- I could have turned out to be some crazy stalker or psycho.
I get that girls get horny too, but considering all the risks, couldn’t they have just kept it in their pants for the 20 minutes that it would take to get back to my apartment?
Having sex with a stranger, wearing a condom, in a public place is not very pleasurable compared with doing it in a comfortable bed, and not having to worry about someone walking in on you. The thrill of doing it in public is, I don’t think, better than the pleasure of being able to take your time with someone in bed.
You might say…
It takes two to tango, Jonathan!
Of course, I was also being pretty irresponsible, but men will generally be as sexually reckless as women permit them to be.
- It’s harder for men to get laid, a single guy is more apt to take a crazy risk to get laid because it might be weeks, months, or years before he gets another chance.
- Sex is always accessible to women. A moderately attractive girl can go on Tinder at any hour of the day or night and within a few minutes have a guy rushing over to sleep with her. Or she can bootycall text an ex-boyfriend. Or she could go to ANY bar and almost any guy she meets there would happily sleep with her.
Casual sex is a whole lot riskier for women…
- They can get pregnant, of course, they can get an abortion or give the baby up for adoption, but they are still taking a chance of taking on a huge, lifechanging obligation. Whereas, a guy who gets a girl pregnant inadvertently, can hit the road, go to a different country or state, change his name, or just convince a judge that he’s not financially solvent enough to support his child, and he’s off scot-free.
- STDs can have a lot more serious consequences for women. For men, STDs are mostly just an inconvenience, a little unpleasant itching around the crotch that can be treated with a few rounds of medication. Whereas women have to worry about a potentially, life-threatening, and incurable HPV infection that can turn into something really scary, cervical cancer.
- A man who has sex with random women in a nightclub is “The Man” whereas the woman is a slut. Despite all the politically correctness, slut-shaming is no joke, women harshly slut-shame even their friends. Not a lot of decent guys are going to want to be her boyfriend, if she has a reputation as the girl who was caught on her knees giving some dude a blowjob at Club Sutra, after a few ladies’ night free cocktails.
- There’s a real psychological cost of casual sex for women, they get their hearts broken when guys don’t want to see them again after a few nights. They lose the ability to pair bond, badly hurting their chances of having a successful future marriage.
Women should have a heightened risk-averse sense of self-preservation. But toxic pop culture has so effectively brainwashed women to just do what feels good in the moment, that you give them a little booze and they will pull their skirts up and their panties to the side and hop on a random dick in a nightclub without thinking twice about it.
The Deliberalization of Dating
But, that was 2010, now in 2020’s the harshness of the entropic evolutionary world is reasserting itself. I foresee that the COVID-19 pandemic is going to accelerate a lot of cultural trends, leading to the deliberalization of dating.
If you follow much of the manosphere content on the internet you know that there was this Golden Age of Pick Up in the first and second decades of this millennium when casual sex was very attainable for any decently good looking, confident guy who could rattle off some cocky bullshit to an inebriated girl. But like all golden ages, this one has waned and that nasty little virus from China has drawn the curtain on it…
- Girls used to flock to bars and nightclubs to hang out, make friends, and hookup, now they are selecting from the convenience of their couches, the best looking men on dating apps like Tinder that they might like to meet. Expect the COVID-19 lockdowns and new social distancing culture to further push meat market bars and nightclubs further into obscurity.
- Girls used to spend two hours getting all dolled-up for a night out on the town with their girlfriends for that hit of validation when a charming guy boldly complimented them and offered to buy them a drink as an excuse to engage in a little flirtatious conversation. Now they post a picture of themselves in their underwear on Instagram, the hearts flood in and they get that sexual-social validation digitally. Your bold approach of a cute girl doesn’t elicit the butterflies that it once might have with her smartphone constantly erupting with likes, hearts, and inbox message notifications.
- Every girl is going to hear the fear-mongering fake statistic that she has like a 1 in 3 chance of being raped in college and now is naturally going to be a bit more reluctant to hang out with a new guy.
- As the “1st world” countries become more multicultural, we’re losing social cohesion, and women will become a bit more conservative about dating and sleeping with men, even men of their own race.
- In many states and countries, judges harshly punish the men on the receiving ends of #MeTwo accusations. You can find countless examples of men having their lives utterly ruined by totally consensual casual sex when the women later decided that they regretted their rash decisions.
With millennials now having LESS sex than previous generations, it’s clear that the sexual revolution has thoroughly screwed itself. Liberalism promised us that we would all be having a cinematic consequence-free life of sexual abandon like the good looking people on TV, but instead, vast numbers of young men and women are now alone in their bedrooms either masturbating to internet porn or desperately uploading skanky Instagram filter-embellished photos of themselves. The sexual revolution turned out to be more of a sexual dystopia.
You might be thinking…
But, Jonathan, people are still going to be having casual sex. People have been promiscuous since the dawn of time, COVID-19 isn’t going to change that.
Sure. But the widespread promiscuity of women (that I enjoyed) was a byproduct of the delusion sold to them that all of life is like a padded jumpy castle where you can have all the fun you want and never get hurt. As they see lines in front of grocery stores and the unemployment numbers rise they are going to start to realize that civilization is fragile, a message exhorted by conservative-leaning men to the deaf masses for a long time, like the protagonist in the movie Idiocracy trying to convince people that “The plants don’t crave Brawndo, they need water!” Women’s risk-averse evolutionary instincts will kick in and a lot of single women will become more conservative in their dating.
- Thanks to the global pandemic, we all now hold a bit of suspicion about every new person we interact with. Might they be infected? Should we even shake hands?
- Women will become less apt to go on a date with a random guy just for fun.
- Women will see misleading mainstream media stories about how abortion or birth control access is being impacted by the crisis and think “Damn. I really wouldn’t want to get pregnant at this time!”
- As the economy contracts, women will be laid off their jobs as HR paper pushers and social media consultants, they’ll stop seeing men as playthings, and instead start thinking “Maybe I should just find a good man who can take care of me…”
Of course, there’s always going to be cavalier sluts, but the kinds of decent women who you might like to date are going to get more conservative. It’s going to get harder to get them to meet you at a cafe for an innocent cup of coffee or jump in bed with you. But, the good news is that if they do spend some time with you they are serious about having something with you. The gleaming silver lining to the global pandemic, is that a lot of the attractive girls you would love to have as a girlfriend are going to be interested in meeting a “good guy” now, instead of waiting until they are 38-years-old.
Unless civilization totally collapses, I don’t think bragging about your prepper stash of canned food, ammo, silver, and toilet paper will get you a girlfriend but a lot of girls will be more interested in a guy who has a decent job and looks like he could stand his ground in a confrontation. I think the yoga bros, the potheads, the local musicians, the guys who go to the club three nights a week, and the gamers will have a tougher time getting the girls.
Meet a Nice Girl in the Post-COVID-19 Era
Here are the kinds of venues and activities that will be fruitful…
Picnic in the park
A lot of parks are closed now, but they will open soon and a lot of girls will be eager to get outside and get some much-needed sun. Girls will be receptive to invitations to have an innocent picnic in the park, especially if you take advantage of some of the time you have on your hands to learn to cook something appetizing. Check out some of the Youtube channels about cooking, get some ingredients, and mess around in the kitchen. You’ll find something that looks, tastes, and smells great and she’ll be impressed. Send her photos of it to whet her appetite. After she enjoys your cooking and company at a park, she’ll be more open to trying your cooking at your place, you can ask her to cook with you, and you’re all the closer to making the magic happen. Cooking for her and meeting her in the daylight, in a public place will really make you stand out from all the sleazy guys inviting her for a drink in a darkened bar, or just trying to get her to come over to their apartments to “watch a movie”.
Dating post-COVID-19 is going to entail some semi-private socializing and civic engagement. Women are going to become even more skeptical about meeting guys at bars, nightclubs, concerts, and house parties.
Volunteer for charity
Volunteering can be a goldmine. In your city, you can find a charitable or nonprofit organization that you can volunteer your time with doing something helpful and compassionate. This is unpaid, selfless labor so the women you might meet there will be decent, kind-hearted people, a cut above the girls you’ll meet slurping free drinks at a ladies’ night. Look for volunteering activities that might appeal to women…
- Anything involving animals; look for animal rescue shelters that need volunteers, you’ll be cleaning up animal crap but there will be women there.
- Maybe something involving children; there might be a Children’s Hospital that invites volunteers in to entertain children.
- Cleaning up or conserving nature.
- Taking care of the elderly; given the risks the elderly now face, this may be trickier, but the women who are also volunteering to keep the elderly company will have hearts of gold.
The advantage is that charitable organizations do not have strict rules about fraternization between volunteers the way companies do between employees. Dating your coworkers in many companies and workplaces is fraught with risks and complications whereas most charitable organizations could really care less about their volunteers hooking up with each other, they might even encourage it.
Church or spiritual venues
In uncertain or bad times people get more religious. If you’re somewhat spiritual find a church that has an active young adults’ group. They will do group activities like bowling, hiking, or Bible study meetup groups.
A lot of young women will proudly proclaim that they are “spiritual but not religious” if that’s how you would describe yourself go look up the inclusive “spiritual” groups in your city, there might be a Falun Gong chapter that meets to do exercises in the park at sunrise or a group meditation class. You’ll have to listen to some wuwu self help silliness, be a little wary of cult recruiters, but there will be nice (if a bit superstitious) girls there.
Importantly, church game is a long game. If you ask five girls out the first Sunday that you visit their church, you’ll catch a not-great reputation. You’ll need to commit to earnestly attending, participating, and contributing to their community. And, you can’t spin plates, you can be social and flirt very subtly with the eligible young women there, but after you’ve asked one out on a date, the others will know about it. You’ll need to take some time to court and romance a girl, but it may really pay off.
Not long ago some friends of ours invited us to a small Adventist church here in Bulgaria, there was a very welcoming, social vibe and even in their small congregation were several very cute, elegant young women. A lot of men meet their future wives in church, if you want a wife don’t be too cool for church.
Grassroots politics or activism
You can also volunteer your time to contribute to a local political organization that aligns with your values or some kind of cause. Now, don’t go join some kind of hardcore revolutionary feminist organization, there will definitely be women there but they are the wrong kind of women, they know that a lot of the men who join their ranks are “sneaky fuckers”, and they will be wary of you.
But do some Googling and you might find some sort of activist or political organization in your area that’s not insanely liberal that you could see yourself supporting. Email them and go check out what kind of people are there. If it’s the local chapter of the NRA (National Rifle Association), it’s going to be a total sausage fest, but your local Libertarian party or environmental conservation group will probably have some not-awful, socially conscious young women as members.
Join a book club
Yes, these are still a thing, such clubs are going to be a filter for nerdy women who are a bit more intellectual and thoughtful. It will be a time investment, reading whatever book the group is reading, but you’ll meet up with the other members regularly, giving you the chance to connect with a woman over a book you both read.
Toastmasters, Improv classes or a writer’s group
You want to look into hobbyist or vocational groups that interest you and appeal to women. These sorts of things are easy to find, fun, affordable, and usually, there are some young women in attendance. They tend to filter for women who are sharper and invest in their personal and professional development.
Once in Kiev, Ukraine I found an English speaking improv class on upcoming Facebook events. I attended and about eight cute Ukrainian girls showed up, all eager to practice their English, and laugh at my dumb jokes.
Language exchanges and meet-ups
These are events held typically at bars and cafes where people get together to practice their second languages and they can be a goldmine for your dating. I met my wife at one, thanks to my Secret Society, I’ll explain later what I mean by that. If you don’t speak a second language that’s fine, there will always be foreigners there who want to practice their English. The language exchange can provide a warm introduction to exotic foreign exchange college girls eager to make friends. They have them in almost every city, you can find them on Facebook or Couchsurfing.com. I’m a member of the Internations social network, this is sort of like a classier version of Couchsurfing. They host cocktail parties in almost every major city where you can mix and mingle with locals and expats. They do their events at swanky venues like fancy hotel bars and they charge a cover, $10-$20, so they filter out the annoying backpacker crowd and dumbass college kids. At Internations events, I’ve rubbed shoulders with young doctors and attorneys, along with inventors and even local politicians. If that scene is appealing to you, checkout Internations in your city.
Be a “model” photographer or dance instructor
Over the years I’ve known a handful of guys whose hustle for meeting girls was taking photos of them or leading Latino dance classes. They didn’t make much, if any, money, but they were always dating cute girls. You would have to filter a bit as a lot of models are awful people while most women who take salsa classes are very decent, classy, and feminine, although I’ve met some weirdo girls at salsa clubs too. You’d certainly have to devote some time to learn to dance well or take photos, but it’s a whole lot better way to spend your time than playing video games!
You might say…
This semi-private socializing strategy sounds like a ton of work. I don’t want to join a book club! I’ll just meet girls through online dating, more girls than ever are on dating apps now.
Well, think about what you really want. Dating apps are designed to produce transient flings, you’re just one of a thousand (or more!) guys in the app that she could date. If you’re sick of scams, time-wasters, and meaningless relationships, be a little more intentional with your socializing. Socializing semi-privately, the women you’ll meet you’ll actually have something in common with. And they will be a cut above in classiness, intelligence, and virtuous character.
Most of your life you’ve probably made friends and met girls randomly in public venues like bars, parties, and social networking websites, but what’s going to be fruitful in the post-COVID-19 era is ingratiating yourself with Secret Societies, NOT the kinds that Bill Gates, George Bush, and the Rothschilds are in, they wouldn’t have you. But high-affinity groups with strong shared values. In the next chapter, I’ll delve further into The Secret Society Infiltration Model for “Networking”.
- The Golden Age of Pickup and easy seduction has passed and you’re going to need to adapt.
- The global pandemic has accelerated trends driving the deliberalization of dating. The upside is that women are going to be more interested in real relationships with good guys, instead of having a transient fling with a bartender or strip club DJ.
- Meeting girls through daygame and certainly night game is going to become tougher, maybe impossible depending on the severity of lockdowns in your location and the new social distancing culture.
- Semi-private socializing and local community engagement will become the best venues for meeting nice girls. It will be more time consuming but the quality of girls you meet will be higher and you’ll have more in common.