Gents, edify thyself by transitioning from “lover” to “provider”
Banned Book Review: “Game” by Roosh V
A comprehensive game textbook for the modern seducer from the Internet’s most infamous pickup artist.
I’ve read and followed Roosh V for some time, I don’t agree with him on everything but I’ve had a similar path of personal development and find him very insightful.
I’m a case study of the effectiveness of game; I was an awkward young man who really struggled with women for a long time, but then I devoted myself to the art of seduction resulting in a rowdy and memorable sex life across three continents. I got married last year to a lovely Bulgarian woman and funnily, my wife wanted to read this book with me, so we spent several evenings cuddled up reading this book to each other and discussing it.
This book differs from previous Roosh V books that I enjoyed in that it is a textbook, that meticulously breaks down the steps and nuances of the art of seduction from the initial approach to penetration. I enjoyed some of his previous books more because they were entertaining memoirs of his adventures and misadventures seducing exotic women in South America and Europe; Game is a bit more of a dry read, it’s not peppered with salacious anecdotes of the author’s nocturnal conquests.
Many men and women are skeptical of game or the value of learning to become a better seducer in the same way that people might learn to play the piano, program computers, or do yoga. They find the whole pickup artist thing cringey, to use snarky internet parlance. They find the pickup artists they see on the internet as dorky, try-hard, and unappealing. They are resistant to devoting time to cultivating the art of seduction and just kind of believe that attraction and sex should happen naturally.
On the surface, it seems crazy that a man has to put in massive amounts of work in order to have sex with the women he wants, but men who don’t use game, who toil in jobs or businesses to accumulate money and fancy cars in order to impress women, are doing the same thing. They’re just relying on “provider” game that used to work before women made their own money or had a wide choice of who to date…
Roosh makes the point that those men who don’t learn game will be relegated to working a lot harder in their careers to make themselves more economically attractive. In the current year, this is a highly non-optimal strategy, if your goal is just to get laid making more money won’t help that much. Even if you hope to enter a long-term relationship your material success or provider game doesn’t help much, especially if you’re pursuing relatively empowered women in a cosmopolitan city. Roosh defines provider game:
Provider game is where a man displays that he’s a good catch through his resources, stability, chivalry, spirituality, and character.
Therefore if your default game is based on displaying your provider status and stability, you will experience a spectacular inability to get laid.
Traditionally minded girls (which are rare) will find these classically virtuous qualities attractive, while most modern women will almost totally disregard them although women do want both providers and lovers. Sapient seducers have pointed out that in dealing with women, if you begin by portraying yourself as a provider you will always be a provider in her eyes and will be treated poorly but if you begin by exhibiting classical lover behavior she’ll be much more attracted to you and if you envision a future together you can slowly transition into being the provider she desires. You can never transition from provider to lover.
Think about the most popular romantic movie of all time, Titanic. The heroine of the movie, Rose, is engaged to marry a rich provider male who will give her a very comfortable life. But she quickly abandons and cheats on him with an exciting lover, Jack who offers her nothing but a good time and a romp in the backseat of a car. Clearly, it’s Hollywood propaganda encouraging casual, impulsive sex and feminism but it’s a great illustration of the lover vs provider dynamic.
My own experience totally confirms the upside and optionality of being a lover instead of a provider. When I first met my wife I told her that I was a drug dealer (well, a smart drug dealer) and generally acted kind of like a player; taking my time to call her back, flaking on dates a few times which she totally disliked yet still became quite infatuated with me! Over time I grew more committed and serious about the relationship, now I listen to her talk about her feelings, pay for groceries and call her back promptly yet she remains as infatuated as ever (if not more so! Check out our Lovebook…)
My wife is a quintessential virtuous woman by almost any measure by which red-pilled men judge women but still lover game worked wonders.
A recipe for joyful, passionate long-term relationships would be to carefully select a woman who is a bit more traditionally minded, spend the first 6 months or so in lover mode, not treating her like a perfect gentleman but also showing her glimpses of your virtuous side, have a lot of good sex so that she becomes oxytocin-bonded to you and slowly start acting a bit more like a provider which should come naturally.
Do you even lift bro?
Roosh emphasizes the importance of weight lifting for a seducer.
Men report that the most improvement to their horniness and energy results from lifting weights, probably because it mirrors the physical exertion our ancestors had to do
If there is one keystone habit that will improve your results with girls, apart from actually interacting with them, it’s lifting weights
The endeavor of seduction is rife with rejection. But Roosh points out that rejection is not that bad. It’s a small price to pay to enjoy women in your life.
On a scale of one to 100, getting painfully rejected by a girl is at most a seven compared with the difficulties your male ancestors had to face.
A persistent man who doesn’t let rejection phase him will do far better than the man with tight game who isn’t persistent.
Approach fewer Women
Counter-intuitively, Roosh advises screening and filtering a bit more with your cold approaching as opposed to approaching any girl you find remotely attractive.
The more girls I approach, the worse my success rate. If I cold approach ten hot girls a day, I may get the phone number of only one girl who will eventually flake on me. However, if I warm approach only two girls a day, I may also get one number, but now I have a high chance of getting sex.
He finds that approaching 20 women in a venue or afternoon and being rejected by 15 is detrimental to his motivation and mood whereas filtering for girls that indicate attraction makes approaching a whole lot less daunting. This advice is probably more relevant to veteran pick-up artists, those new to game should aim to get a hundred cold approaches under their belts.
Successful game is less about creating something from nothing and more about noticing when something is already there and then taking advantage of it.
This requires a heightened awareness of women’s eye contact with you
The girls who hold eye contact for at least two seconds have very high attraction for you.
Roosh leans towards favoring indirect game, which is not being explicit and clear upfront about your attraction for a girl. Direct game is walking right up to a girl and saying “Hi, I found you very cute and just had to say hello…”
A man will get at least a phone number if he goes indirect on a girl he could have gone direct on, but he may not get a number if he goes direct on a girl that he could have gone indirect on. This is why I recommend that you lean towards indirect game, because it’s easy to implement, versatile, safe to use in anti-male environments, and you won’t lose girls who have high attraction for you.
This is something that seducers debate endlessly around. A lot of women will categorically reject direct game but direct game communicates admirable boldness and confidence that some women will find very sexy. Again, neophyte seducers should probably go direct more often to break through their comfort zones and get comfortable with grappling with their psychological resistance to cold approach. Whereas, more experienced men will be able to start an innocuous conversation about local cafes or whatever with a woman but communicate their attraction non-verbally and smoothly transition into what’s a prelude to a date.
Abstain from Porn
Unsurprisingly, Roosh is not a big fan of porn.
When it comes to game, the problem with porn is that it wastes your horniness, which is the fuel that feeds the game fire.
Unless you’re a very young man, you’ll find porn usage detrimental to your motivation when it comes to enjoying the opposite sex.
A Conservative/Right-Wing Seduction Manifesto
Pickup and dating gurus are a dime a dozen on the internet and I think many of them espouse advice that ignores the rapidly changing and increasingly toxic cultural environment in which seduction occurs. Roosh V writes from a conservative, right-wing, traditional perspective for men who are seducing in an increasingly hostile environment. Gone are the days when a man could hit on a woman in a mall, compliment a sexy barista working at a cafe, bump’n grind with a scantily clad girl in a nightclub or have a booze-fueled casual hookup with a girl at a house party and be totally free of concern that he might face legal consequences for these kinds of inelegant manifestations of masculinity and heterosexuality.
It would not be an exaggeration to state that relations between the sexes are the worst they’ve ever been, with both women and men developing a genuine animosity for each other.
This book does more than just bemoan the decline of traditional sex roles and the rise of tyrannical feminism, it soberly discusses the risks of being a seducer in the current years and presents a methodology for thriving sexually despite these forces.
I’m not sure if I would recommend this book highly to men who solely desire to be promiscuous players. At the beginning of the book, he makes the point that life as a seducer is one hell of a hedonic treadmill; you’ll derive a lot more pleasure in the accomplishment of seducing your 10th woman than you will in your 100th. In fact, he doesn’t recommend that men aim to seduce much more than about a dozen women in their lifetimes as it will hurt their capacity to pair bond meaningfully with one woman in a long-term relationship or marriage. If you’re a single man who is interested in marrying a traditional woman one day and having a family you should probably read Game. If you’re committed to the player life and hope to just accumulate as many notches on your bedpost as possible the Real Social Dynamics’ Youtube channels are probably better.
This Book is Banned
Game and 9 of Roosh’s other books have been banned from Amazon along with a number of other platforms. If you’re the kind of person, that wants to see, know, and read what you’re not supposed to know about you’ll want to read this book. It’s actually a totally reasonable book that doesn’t contain any vitriolic content that a reasonable person would consider hate speech. Roosh’s take on this is that major corporations and globalist governments worldwide are conspiring to discourage heterosexuality among white, people of European extraction. Whether this is true or not, banning reasonable books is a concerning sign of the declining state of freedom and our loss of free speech, which Roosh explored philosophically in his book, Free Speech Isn’t Free, which I enjoyed reading!
Despite my wife’s interest, I wouldn’t recommend this book to women. There’s not that much material in it that I think would offend reasonable women, I just don’t think they would find it all that interesting because, again, it’s fairly dry and technical without much storytelling or flowery prose. I realize a lot of women are also confused and frustrated with the perverse state of modern dating, they’ll want to read Lady, a book that Roosh wrote specifically for women.