How I Quit Coffee: 3 Biohacks for Overcoming the Siren Call of the Dark Nectar

3 Biohacks for Overcoming the Siren Call of the Dark Nectar

You guys know I lived in the motherland of truly great coffee for 2 years; Medellin, Colombia, where I had a passionate love affair with the anti-oxidizing dark nectar. I frequently hung out at some of the best cafes in the world there, which served straight black coffee that was as smooth as wine going down, I was got quiet hooked on the stuff.

Then I moved to Europe, where I proceeded to have short term relationships with various cities and countries. It would be an understatement to say that I found it a challenge to find coffee in Europe that measures up to the standards that Medellin set so high.
Sometimes I’d find a good cafe but in a short matter of time, I’d move on to a new town and my search would begin a new.
My search for great coffee was confounded by Europeans delusional optimism about their coffee; they are quick to call Starbucks out for the garbage brand it is but woefully unawares that most of the coffee served here is no better. Every trendy young European I met was quick to assure me that I could find truly great coffee in their city, yet they need to dilute and load it up with milk, cream to make it barely palatable.

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Now my snobbishness is not just because I can’t stomach sub par coffee. As I’ve become more mindful of how what I consume effects my mood, focus and productivity, I’ve become more aware of the negative effect that bad coffee has on my day.

I begrudgingly reached the decision that I needed to go off coffee or at least cut back sharply on the stuff — make it a once a week type treat instead of a daily habit. Which turned out to be pretty rough; Caffeine is the second most addictive Nootropic I’ve become acquainted with. I would quit for a few days and then have some and be disappointed.

However, eventually I discovered an energizing morning cocktail that replaced and effectively assuaged my coffee withdrawals.

Adaptogenic Herbal Tea

This is a cocktail of three potent tonic herbs from traditional Chinese and Russian medicine; Rhodiola Rosea, Eleuthero and Schisandra Chinensis.
Day one of no coffee is usually the roughest, so I was amazed to find my caffeine withdrawals none-existent when I started using Adapogenic Herbal Tea. While it doesn’t quiet imbue the peppy headspace that coffee does, it’s a stimulant that helps wake you up and evens out your mood.

Black Tea

At cafes I began ordering Black or ‘breakfast’ Tea, it’s sometimes called the man’s tea because of it’s slightly bitter, yet hearty, savory taste. All cafes serve it, it’s cheap and it doesn’t have the mycotoxin fermentation issues that so much coffee does. Black tea does have some caffeine in it, so it’s not like I’ve gone cold turkey off the 1,3,7 Trimythelxanthine that I so adore.

Nicotine USP Solution

Finally I began starting my mornings with a drop under the tongue of this pharmaceutical grade Nicotine. It is addictive so you need to regulate yourself and be strict about not letting your daily dosage creep up. It provides a near instantaneous boost of alertness and focus.

In my days as a raver I remember a DJ friend of mine lamenting that Ecstasy is a great drug but an inconsistent one; sometimes you drop a pill and your friends are awesome, the music is nearly orgasm inducing and the night is epic but sometimes you drop a pill and it doesn’t work, you get paranoid, the crowd is annoying and you awake Serotonin depleted with the emptiness in your soul crying out to you. Anyone who’s done much Ecstasy knows what I’m talking about. Thank god I didn’t know about Phenibut at the time. I might still be a raver.

I feel kind of the same about coffee as a performance enhancer; sometimes it’s the wind to the sales of my productivity and the hover board that elevates my mood but sometimes it just barely assuages my chemical dependence and leaves me frenetic. My current Nootropic cocktail for a kickass morning is all the more potent and reliable. If you’ve carried on a rocky, on-and-off daily relationship for far too long with coffee that often leaves you high and dry I hope you’ll try it!

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Adventuring philosopher, Pompous pontificator, Writer, K-Selected Biohacker, Tantric husband, Raconteur & Smart Drug Dealer 🇺🇸

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