I am a bird

Debunking the “Not a Bird” Arguments

identify as a fair feathered fowl and it’s your job to compliment my plumage, like other birds, I also tweet.

You may look at my photo and say…

Clearly you are a slender man. You don’t look like a bird!

You may question…

Can you fly? Do you lay eggs? Can you do any of the things that birds do?

You may even say…

Jonathan I can prove with science that you’re not a bird! If you do a 23 and Me genotyping test it will clearly show that you’re a human male and not a bird.

You may even say…

Isn’t it pretty unfair of you to real birds to claim to be a bird? Other birds have lived their entire lives struggling with the unique challenges that only birds face. It seems quite likely that you are claiming to be a bird just as a petty ruse for attention!

You may even apply a little rationality and say…

The world is full of mentally ill people who are absolutely convinced that they are Jesus, Napoleon Bonaparte, an angel from heaven, an alien from outer space or an Egyptian Pharaoh from ancient history. We try to be compassionate to these people but it also doesn't help them to indulge their delusion. You’re a rational guy Jonathan, let’s apply Occam's razor here — Is it more likely that you’re mentally ill and convinced of something that everyone else can see clearly isn’t the case? OR is it more likely that a magic metaphysical phenomena has occurred making you a bird that totally defies all tenants of biological science and epistemology? What is more likely here?

You may finally ask…

Did you hatch you from an egg? All the other birds I’ve ever known, seen or heard of hatched from an egg. Also, this is the first time you’ve ever identified as a bird — all the other birds I know have always been birds, they started their lives as birds. They didn’t decide in the middle of their lives to become birds.

To all of these hateful arguments, there’s one way I’ll respond, shrieking…

You bigot! If I identify as a bird who the hell are you to deny my “birdness”!

Obviously, this is satire…

The transgender issue is not merely the next front of progressivism or a phenomenon of mental disease, it is the stink of a cancerous intellectual scourge that seeks to, above all else, burn civilization down. It is a symptom of the insidious problem of bad science

Written by

Adventuring philosopher, Pompous pontificator, Writer, K-Selected Biohacker, Tantric husband, Raconteur & Smart Drug Dealer 🇺🇸

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