Losing Face
Last night I had a bit of an unsettling dream that I’ll share…
I’ve practiced lucid dreaming for sometime — I’d encourage you to audio blog your dreams using a voice recorder app on your smartphone. It’s the best way I’ve found to remember my dreams. If I don’t audio blog my dreams immediately after having them, I consistently lose the memories I have of these very cool nightly adventures I experience. I’ll spend a minute or two recording my dreams hit the upload button and then I’ll go back to sleep. I have a dream journaling folder on Google drive I’ll listen to the contents of from time to time just to re-explore the weird and wacky scenarios my nocturnal mind creates.
So I had this dream about losing my face, as you’re aware dreams are often a rather none-nonsensical string of experiences. So I was driving in a car through my hometown Denver, Colorado — my girlfriend was driving the car (which is a bit funny because she doesn't actually know to how drive) and the car had two annoying blue lights in it, that’s probably because I have two annoying blue lights in my bedroom that I need to cover up every night before going to bed.
In the next scene I had injured my face somehow, it’s wasn't painful but somehow I had lost a significant portion of my right jaw. My face looked disproportional and warped.
Then I did something foolish. I tried to fix my face by removing the other side of my face, I cut my left cheek, jowls, teeth and jaws away from my face. My bloody teeth were in a sink. Then I looked at myself in a mirror and I was hideous, a giant chunk of the right side of my face was now missing. My rather strong and masculine jawline was gone. But my self administered surgery did not balance out my face. My face was still grossly asymmetrical but now it looked weak and alien.
Then another woman appeared in my dream. She expressed a little concern for my deformed face. I told her I tried to do surgery and myself and now I would visit a plastic surgeon.
Analysis: In the dream I’m back in Denver. So clearly I’m thinking about Denver; my life and my family there. My girlfriend is driving the car, so maybe I feel like she has some power over my direction in life. Which is silly because I’m a very self directed person, perhaps this is my insecurity about loss of independence — making this transition from a being single, sovereign man trotting the globe to being a boyfriend. Then somehow I lose face, this must have something to do with my feeling ashamed about missing my brother’s wedding in Denver. It is shameful that I’m missing this event. Then I try to try to remedy the situation but I just make it worse.
So it’s probably a dream about my shame and insecurity. That’s interesting.
