Myth: “Women are just into guys with money”

Gents, one of the most pernicious myths about women that I’d like to disabuse you of is that women are just into guys with money.

Over 7 years I traveled to over 20 different countries, and in many of them I sought out local wingmen or at least found a local guy who spoke decent English and asked him about the cultural nuances of dating there. What I heard over and over was…

“Oh, girls here are just interested in guys with money.”

This is a half-truth. As a red-pilled man, you should have some cursory understanding of females’ dual mating strategy…

  1. Sleep with a “lover male”. She’ll throw all caution to the wind, engaging in risky sexual behavior with a man that signals high genetic fitness — either being very good looking or being a cocky “bad boy” — sometimes resulting in unplanned pregnancies.
  2. Locking down a “provider male”. She makes a very rational selection of the man most able to provide her resources, financial security, and emotional stability. And then she plants her flag on her newly conquered territory which often involves marriage, stalking him on social media, or encouraging him in behaviors that will make him less attractive to other women.

Now women do find both types of men attractive but they treat them very differently. Their sexual relationships with lovers are just all about fun, no more serious than hopping on a rollercoaster at an amusement park. But when it comes to providers, females become as conservative as Warren Buffett doing a quantitative analysis on a prospective billion-dollar investment. They take things slow and will dispassionately scan your soul for any disqualifying feature.

If you begin your relationships with women by bragging to them about your stuff or showing off the financial security you might offer then they’ll put you squarely in the provider box, where they really won’t be in a hurry to sleep with you, and they’ll constantly be looking for reasons to eject from the relationship.

The advantage of starting a relationship as her lover instead of as her provider cannot be overstated

  • If she regards you as a “lover” from the beginning of the relationship, she’ll reward you with a lot of sex and good times.
  • Then you start testing the water with some “provider behavior” — showing her more respect — and just see how she reacts. If she’s a bad woman she’ll lose interest in you and be flakier the more you invest in the relationship.
  • Reward her devotion by making her your girlfriend. Gradually, act a bit more like a provider; buying her gifts, paying for her groceries, helping her with her bills occasionally, and providing emotional support. And see how she treats you, if she’s a good woman she’ll reciprocate your devotion with thoughtful acts of service.

Transitioning from lover to provider comes easily and naturally, and a good woman will reward your transformation. Whereas, transitioning from “provider” to “lover” in her mind is damn near impossible. Now there’s a spectrum of behavior among women, of course, some only sleep with and date bad boy lovers (and then complain about it!) While some women are more interested in getting a decent boyfriend. But unless you’re courting with a Belarussian farmer’s daughter who reads her bible every day and has never watched a Hollywood movie, she’s going to respond more positively to lover behavior, at least in the beginning. I’ll point out that I don’t think this makes women “bad”, it’s just the way they are, it’s an evolutionary thing. You can complain about it and wallow in self-pity, or you can get it working for you.

So of course, you’re thinking…

OK, act like a “lover” not a provider. How do I do that practically…?

A couple of social dynamics hacks for exuding the lover vibe…

  • Tell her to move — You’re talking to a girl at party, bar, or on the street, tell her “Hey move over here real quick.” and gesture to somewhere nearby. Ask you’re doing it make a little excuse, it’s too bright here, the music is too loud, I need some fresh air
  • Go direct, then change the subject — I’ve had a number of friends and wingmen who were very effective natural seducers. Observing their interactions with women, they would almost always announce early their intentions. They would say something like “I thought you were very beautiful and I had to meet you…” but then they would quickly change this subject to chatting about something more mundane.
  • “I don’t want to be your boyfriend” — This statement of intent often prompts the woman to say “Oh, I have a boyfriend,” which is true about half the time, just respond “Don’t worry. I don’t want to be your boyfriend.” Then switch the conservation subject.
  • “We’re not sleeping together, don’t get any ideas…” — As the interaction gets a bit more flirtatious or sexual, throw out a false disqualifier “we aren’t having sex, I’m a nice boy…” or give some other silly reason “I’m suspicious of women with large purses, I don’t think it would work out between us” then continue with the flirting.
  • If there’s a chance that you can kiss her, go for it! — If you’re failing to turn first dates into second dates or relationships or ending up in the friendzone, it might be because you’re waiting for the perfect moment to kiss her. Try kissing her even if it’s a little awkward, even if your head and bodies aren’t perfectly aligned. She may brush off your advance but try again in 20 minutes. If she really doesn’t want to kiss you, she’ll be adamant about it. She’ll know what you’re after and you at least won’t get stuck in the friendzone again.

I got a story about that final one, once upon in a time in Belgrade, Serbia I invited this Serbian girl with fake tits smoking outside a hostel to join me at a bar with a wingman. My wingman, being not-totally-clueless (this is why you should go out with guys who are into “game” and pickup), could tell that we had a little chemistry and left us to ourselves, the girl didn’t speak great English (she told me she was 13-years-old, I think she meant 30!) so I kept trying to kiss her while showing her silly Youtube videos on my phone. I think I tried 4–5 times and she always turned her cheek to the side avoiding my advances, but she didn’t leave or make a big deal out of it. And then I never met her again, but the funny thing is that after that she persistently stalked me on social media for about 4 years! She liked every photo I posted and would send me messages in barely legible English, suggesting that we meet again somewhere in the Balkans. Ultimately I had to block her on both Facebook and Instagram because I got married and wanted to avoid any temptation to do anything really stupid.

My new book, Don’t Stick Your Dick in a Blender, delves a lot deeper into advanced social dynamics strategies so that you don’t waste your time with women by unwittingly exhibiting provider behavior while at the same time filtering into your life women who will respect and reward noble provider behavior when the time is right for it…

Please Pre-Order the book today

Here on for $8.99. You’ll receive an immediate download of five chapters

The Inevitable Uncondoming
How to Meet a Nice Girl in the COVID-19 Era
Dating and Marrying Exotic Foreign Women
Seducing a Virgin
The Siren Song of Online Dating

The audiobook version of the book (a $16 value) when it’s produced, expect the audiobook in about a month.

And you’ll also get access to a private accountability community, The League of Limitless Gentlemen on, where you’ll be able to get feedback and encouragement from me and other likeminded guys.

This flowchart visually breaks the 18 chapters of the book, the book is about 100,000 words.

  1. The Inevitable Uncondoming
  2. Playing with Fire
  3. I Was Promised a Sex Slave
  4. Dating in the Post-COVID-19 Era
  5. The Secret Society Infiltration Model for “Networking”
  6. Dating and Marrying Exotic Foreign Women
  7. How I met the love of my life and why I took the ultimate risk
  8. The Siren Song of Online Dating
  9. Sex and Dating Hacks
  10. Lifehacking Your Looks
  11. Seducing a Virgin
  12. How to Lose Your Virginity
  13. The Hero’s Journey from No Fap to Tantric Sex
  14. Tantric Sex Techniques
  15. Choose Youth (and Yin) over Beauty
  16. The Worst Part of Being Married
  17. The One Thing I Regret
  18. My Wedding Night with my Beloved Bride

Please respond:

Which of these chapters is most appealing to you? If you’re a single dude, what’s your greatest point of frustration with finding love?


Jonathan Roseland

Adventuring philosopher, Pompous pontificator, Writer, K-Selected Biohacker, Tantric husband, Raconteur & Smart Drug Dealer 🇺🇸

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