But a lot of my readers who are single guys tell me…
This multi-orgasmic tantra/biohacking sex stuff is VERY interesting but I don’t have anyone to do it with…
Trust me, the self cultivation stage of tantric practice is a WHOLE LOT LESS fun than the tantric multi-orgasmic sex stage. If you don’t have a wife or a girlfriend you really are missing out on savoring the very sweet fruit of cultivating this skill set.
I’m not a big fan of the irrationally hopefully…
Just focus on improving yourself and the right person will come into your life
…approach to intimate relationships, I think it’s a useless self help platitude and it’s never worked out that way for me. I’m all about taking action, ethical hedonism and re-purposing goals into daily habits.
So if you don’t have a girlfriend now or anyone to practice these tantric methods with the bottom line is that you need to improve your social skills… or to use a little more colorful parlance; to learn the art of seduction or game (for short).
Honestly, the best place to learn is from the Real Social Dynamics Youtube channels. The things they teach will get you laid and get women into your life. I’ve hung out with RSD trained pickup artists around the world, from Medellin to Kiev — if you apply what they teach you will have more sex.
However, there’s a couple of significant downsides to doing RSD-style game.
- You need to go out A LOT. The pickup artists who really get laid consistently spend a lot of time going to the club; 4–5 nights a week and they spend hours and hours there, doing like a 100 cold approaches a week.
- Late nights. If you’re really going to take this pickup artist thing seriously you have to be prepared to stay till closing time at bars and clubs — so 2AM, 3AM, 4AM or even later.
- Club girls. I’m not so jaded and cynical as to say that it’s impossible to meet quality girls at clubs but it’s unlikely you’ll meet someone at a club that you would want to be in a long term relationship with. You want to make sure you’re having very safe sex with anyone you meet at a club. Clubs are great places to pickup a venereal disease.
- Drunks and smokers will surround you; you’re going to have to deal with a lot of stupid, obnoxious people to get what you want.
- Short term relationships. Most of RSD’s teaching is focused around short term relationships, the same night lay. Which I’m not really morally opposed to but pragmatically the best social science indicates that being in a long term relationship is the most healthy arrangement for both men and women, whereas serial short term relationships are quite bad for women and of dubious value for men.
Marital status, health and mortality
Marital status and living arrangements, along with changes in these in mid-life and older ages, have implications for…
These downsides are unacceptable to me.
- My time and sanity is just too valuable to me.
- I hate the shitty music they play at big crazy clubs.
- I’m 33, I do recommend that younger men go clubbing, some of the very best experiences of my 20’s had to do with nightclubs but over time it really does lose its luster.
- Also, at least here in Europe where I live we’re seeing so many terrorist attacks on nightclubs that I really wouldn’t want to be in a big popular nightclub more frequently than a couple times a year. In one of my most popular podcasts, I interviewed street fight psychology expert and security consultant Richard Gannon who has well over a decade of experience bouncing at nightclubs around the world. His sage advice was…
If you want to avoid violence don’t stay out past midnight.
A lot of pickup artists would say…
So… Do Daygame — approach girls in public during the daytime.
This is a pretty good option. I think the best guru for learning daygame is Tom Torero on Youtube.
However, my issue with daygame is that it’s time consuming during the day. You might say…
But it only takes a few minutes to chat up a girl in a cafe or on public transit.
Yes, but in actuality there is a learning curve to daygame that takes many hours, the daygame gurus say that to get started with the skill you need to do about 50 cold approaches a week, that comes out to at least an hour a day.
I’m quite busy during the day running my business and I’m just not able to devote that much time to daygame. Although, I still do cold approaches a couple times a week and I have met girls I’ve dated this way, it does work. Audaces fortuna juvat
I’d really rather meet girls at night
I’d really rather have my days compartmentalized as a time to work and my nights as a time to relax and socialize. I bet you feel the same and perhaps you’re thinking…
So what I’ll do is attend a lot networking functions and public events and I’ll meet girls there!
Well, that kind of works…
- I’ve spent time in some really cosmopolitan cities like Berlin, Medellin and Barcelona where you can go to networking mixers and public events seven nights a week and you will meet a lot people. In fact I recommend this to people who are really struggling with social anxiety.
- However, you really will have to shake the hands of a lot of BORING real estate agents, language teachers, computer programmers and MLMers to meet someone that you would actually like to date. It’s really pretty counter intuitive to try to practice your game and meet girls at networking functions. I have gotten laid from going to these dorky networking functions but I had to go to a lot of them!
- Internations.org is the best in my opinion, if I was going to go to public events, it would be theirs but big crazy nightclubs are really a better option if your real reason for socializing is to meet girls.
I could of course join the masses and do online dating…
- Start swiping furiously on Tinder.
- Start spamming girls with some clever one-liners on Plenty of Fish.
- Fill out that giant personality compatibility matrix of eHarmony.
But the downsides to online dating are huge…
- It’s really time consuming. If you really want to get results from it prepare to spend like 10 hours a week on it; clicking, liking, hearting photos, writing messages, chatting, etc. Don’t you already spend too much time online?
- Your looks really matter. Good looking guys do a whole lot better on online dating.
- The competition is insane! Good looking girls are being digitally solicited by hundreds or maybe even thousands of guys. Even girls who you would honestly classify as a 3/10 are getting attention and offers for dates.
- You don’t actually know what the girl looks like until she shows up on the date!
- Online dating has always seemed deeply unromantic to me because if the girl is even remotely attractive she has hundreds of other guys hitting on her. The guy is just a commodity that is utterly replaceable with a few swipes.
- Nothing is at stake emotionally for the girl and the guy is of course kind of a wimp really because he’s emotionally insulating himself from real rejection by doing it online. Really quite unromantic!
So is there a place to easily meet girls…
Who are actually feminine and sexy?
In the real world?
In the evening, when it’s not going to interfere with work?
Without having to do a bunch of superfluous networking and socializing with people I’m not interested in?
Without spending a lot money?
Without wasting hours and hours of time?
Doing something that’s actually fun?
Yes there is. It’s…
- You can find them in almost every city in the world.
- They are frequented by attractive, feminine women; the type who take care of themselves wearing heels and dresses.
- Salsa clubs have a good proportion of girls to guys. Sometimes a lot more girls than guys.
- Women often attend them solo or in easy to approach groups of two.
- Salsa clubs are actually nice places to hang out. The music is pleasant. You’re not surrounded by drunk people smoking.
- The salsa club crowd arrives earlier and goes home at a decent hour, usually by midnight. I’ve never seen a fight at a salsa club and I’d be a whole lot less concerned about violence there.
- Pickup artists don’t go to salsa clubs, so your competition is just other guys who like to salsa dance. Who I’m not very worried about.
You might be saying…
But I don’t know how to salsa dance. I’m a total wreck on the dance floor.
Salsa dancing is easy to learn, you can go from totally clueless to good enough in about 2 hours of private classes and it really is fun once you’ve gotten a little instruction.
Don’t be an idiot
If you’re a single guy lacking good prospects for your sex life, do some personal development, learn game, hit up a salsa club and you’ll be rewarded!
I’m an intellectual dissident
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