Tantric Sex Techniques for Men
From my book How to Be Cross Eyed: Thriving Despite Your Physical Imperfection — a mémoire and lifehacking manifesto
Retaining semen during vigorous lovemaking is achieved through a coordinated symphony of techniques;
- Breath Control
- PC control
- Anal Sphincter Control
- The Squeeze Method
- The Million Dollar Spot
- Scrotal Tugging
- Microcosmic Orbit (Cool Draw and Big Draw)
You’ll want to practice them all individually and in combination with some persistence and like salsa dancing or Biohacking you’ll eventually figure out what works for you! Mastering 9 different methods may sound daunting at first but they clarify in The Multi-Orgasmic Man…
the most important parts of the practice are breathing, squeezing your pc muscle, and learning to relax into a nonejaculatory orgasm.
The Taoist gurus would, of course, encourage you to practice all 9 methods endlessly along with doing yoga, tai chi, and meditating on immortality but honestly, you’ll get the greatest multi-orgasmic bang for your time-spent-self-cultivating-buck with breath control, PC Muscle and anal control.
The Inevitable Uncondoming…
Single guys, you should know that tantric sex tends to lead to unprotected sex, which really does feel a lot better for you and her than with a glove on your cock. In my new book, Don’t Stick Your Dick in a Blender, I have a chapter, The Inevitable Uncondoming (which you can download here for free and read at your leisure), all about unprotected sex. Good, yet naive, men routinely wreck their lives because they “stick their dick in a blender” — having sex with the wrong kinds of women. STDs, unplanned pregnancies, false accusations, mental health headcases, and divorce make chasing skirts a dangerous game. This book delves deeply into advanced social dynamics strategies and lifehacks for meeting and seducing a woman worthy of your uncondomed cock. Please, don’t underestimate how easy it is to royally screw up your life by inviting the wrong kinds of women into your bed. Read this book if you want to enjoy the rich experience of Tantric sex without the pain, drama, and stress that can result from intertwining yourself physically and spiritually with inglorious skanks.
Becoming a whole lot more conscious of your breath control is the prerequisite skill set to semen retention.
There’s a significant connection between breathing, heart rate, and ejaculation. The Tao of Longevity explains…
Since breathing controls heartbeat, the primary exercise for controlling ejaculation is deep, rhythmic abdominal breathing performed in the same manner as during breathing exercises. (5605–5606)
One technique that has proved especially effective is to breathe in deeply and hold your breath for several moments until the urge to ejaculate subsides. Some multi-orgasmic men, however, breathe rapidly to delay ejaculation. (This quick, shallow breathing is called the breath of fire in the yoga tradition.)
For me this is this the most direct path to full body orgasm while self cultivating I’ll focus specifically on deep abdominal breathing; as I become aroused I notice that my breathing feels crisper — like I’m breathing really fresh, cool mountain air after a jog — and more energizing and invigorating, I feel like I’m absorbing every atom of energy in the air I’m breathing. As I approach ejaculation and focus all my effort on holding it in, I feel waves of pleasure throughout my body and a really clear head afterward. To clarify the technique…
He should close his eyes, concentrate his mind, press his tongue against the roof of his mouth, arch his spine, and stretch out his neck. He should then open his nostrils wide, close his mouth, and take in a very deep breath. If he does this in time, he will not ejaculate. Instead, the semen will return and ascend naturally by itself. (5615–5617)
It’s not a lot of fun practicing breathing, if you’re finding it difficult devoting 10–15 minutes daily to practicing breathing I would suggest devoting every other meditation session for the next two weeks to doing these breath exercises; that will get you over the hump of conscious effort and help you to habituate these breathing methods into your normal mindfulness practice.
The objective is to use profound abdominal breathing to control ejaculation and be a better lover. This requires a high degree of concentration and multi-tasking. While making love our tendency is to worry about the other person to the exclusion of everything else yet this tantric method requires you to devote your attention to the mundane task of abdominal breathing.
4 Stage Breath Control
Since you are going to be breathing every day, every minute for the rest of your life, it’s worthwhile to granularly train your breathing. It starts with flaring your nostrils as you inhale; I suggest you spend your first couple of breath training sessions just focusing on flared nostril inhalations, once that becomes automatic for you add another step.
…begin a slow inhalation through flared nostrils, drawing air deep down into the bottom of your lungs by expanding the diaphragm downward and letting the abdomen balloon. When lower lungs are full, continue inhaling smoothly and let the rib cage expand to fill the mid lungs, then inhale a bit more to fill the top. It is not necessary or desirable to fill the lungs completely on each inhalation, and you should never force inhalation beyond comfortable capacity. About two-thirds full is the right measure for an inhalation. The final step in inhalation is to sink the big “energy bubble” of breath gently down into the abdominal cavity. This will cause the abdominal wall to balloon out. (3269–3275)
To sink the energy bubble down you just swallow.
The next step is to hold the breath for just a moment. After you’ve inhaled completely and let the breath sink, just hold it still for a few seconds, more specifically
never to force retention beyond natural capacity. Work with average retentions of 3 to 5 seconds, and after several months of regular practice, you may occasionally try a few retentions of 7 to 10 seconds, (3320–3322)
This is really beneficial breathing
breath retention is complex, subtle, and of central importance to the efficacy of breathing exercises. Heartbeat slows by more than half, blood pressure is substantially reduced, and cellular respiration is triggered. Cells throughout the body start “breathing” by themselves, spontaneously breaking down sugars to release oxygen and automatically excreting cellular wastes into the bloodstream for disposal. (3280–3283)
You’ll know that you are doing this correctly if there’s a noticeable increase in body heat and even perspiration after 10–15 minutes of practicing breathing
Cellular respiration generates body heat. This is first felt in the lower abdomen, then spreads slowly to the extremities, (3292–3293)
Empty the lungs in reverse order of inhalation: start at the top and end at the bottom. At the end of exhalation, pull the entire abdominal wall inward in order to push the diaphragm upward into the chest (3329–3330)
So you kind of suck in your belly as you are exhaling
In cold, dry weather, exhalation should always be done through the nostrils in order to replenish heat and moisture borrowed from the turbinates on the way in. However, in warm, humid climates, you may opt for mouth exhalation, which enhances expulsion of toxins, permits more thorough evacuation of air, and helps dissipate excess body heat. (3333–3336)
This step should be conducted in a calm, metrical manner
If the breath tends to burst out in an explosive gust, it means you’ve retained too long. (3333)
When the lungs are completely empty, block the throat by closing the glottis, so that air does not rush back into the vacuum left in your lungs. Now pause for a few seconds to permit the abdominal wall and the diaphragm to relax again, then slowly begin the next inhalation through the nose. If you have to gasp for the next inhalation, then you have paused too long. (3337–3340)
This breathing is kind of like salsa dancing, the book urges us to focus on rhythm and smooth transitions between steps
it is not the duration or volume of breath retained that works such therapeutic wonders, but rather the smooth, rhythmic regularity of the entire breathing process,(3322–3323)
Once you have reached a level of conscious competence with this 4 stage breathing you are going to want to practice deep abdominal breathing while doing something you find otherwise distracting or pleasurable.
For example; the other evening while watching a really engrossing series on Netflix I practiced my abdominal breathing. Good television or movies trick your biology into reacting like you’re actually in a fight or flight situation, it’s good practice to meter your breathing.
Of course, you’re also going to be practicing breathing while self cultivating.
Again, Taoist breathing is the prerequisite skill to tantric semen retention. If you’re a bit confused by the 4 stage breath control method I suggest that you listen to this podcast while practicing the technique…
How to Breath like a Jedi (Taoist Breathing)
All Science References & Sources https://www.limitlessmindset.com/blog/limitless-lifestyle/1360-taoist-breathing…
You want to pay special attention to practicing the Anal Lock technique described here:
Here’s how to apply the anal lock. As inhalation reaches capacity, focus attention on the anus and contract the external sphincter ring. This is easy. Next, make a stronger, deeper, more deliberate contraction about an inch above the first. You will immediately feel a powerful contraction throughout the pelvic floor. (3354–3356)
How to Breath like a Jedi (Taoist Breathing) — Limitless Mindset
Taoist masters over a very long period of time developed a breathing technique that’s very effective, proven and a…
Practice your anal locks every time you use the bathroom.
Controlling Heart Rate
The books suggest that your heart rate has an inverse relationship with your ability to control your ejaculation.
As is true in all martial arts and meditative practices, your breath is the gate through which you can gain control of your body.
If you are breathing slowly and deeply, your heart rate decreases.
A mindfulness practice will certainly train your ability to control your heart rate. A shortcut though is HRV training with Heartmath’s emWave devices. These devices give you almost instantaneous feedback on the state of coherence between your heart and autonomic nervous system. If you want to shave off about 5 years from learning to consciously control your breathing the way Buddhist monks do spend about 10–15 minutes daily HRV training.
The leading mindset quantification device for Biohackers, transhumanists, meditation practitioners, stress hackers, and…
Deep abdominal breathing helps to relieve blue balls…
practice also helps relieve the “fullness” sometimes felt in the scrotum after voluntary retention of semen. (5211)
Masturbate again tonight but instead of enjoying the sensation or fantasizing about someone, focus on maintaining rhythmical belly breathing while pleasuring yourself. Fire up Brain.FM for a 15-minute relaxation session, and commit to just focusing on your breath for the whole session; it doesn’t really matter if you come or not at the end of the 15 minutes. After you habituate better deep breathing; you’ll realize that your normal breathing during masturbation or sex is awfully shallow.
PC Muscle Control
This is the muscle you use to stop yourself from urinating when you can’t find a toilet. The pc muscle is also responsible for the rhythmic contractions in your pelvis and anus during orgasm.
Where is the PC muscle?
The easiest way to find your pc muscle is to stop the flow of urine by clamping down the muscles in your pelvis the next time you are going to the bathroom.
How it works
the pc muscle surrounds the prostate, through which your semen must pass during the expulsion phase of orgasm. By learning to squeeze your prostate during contractile-phase orgasm (when it is contracting involuntarily), you can help yourself avoid moving from contraction to expulsion.
What to do:
You can also squeeze your pc muscle around your fluttering prostate, which will help you maintain some control over these spasms. Drawing the energy away from your genitals and up your spine as we describe in the next chapter will help relieve the pressure and the urge to ejaculate. Your level of excitement will decrease slightly in preparation for another genital orgasm. With multiple orgasms, your arousal is like a wave that rises to a peak and then, instead of cresting over and crashing, is swept up by a larger wave and on to an even higher peak.
Test your PC muscle
a man with a healthy pc muscle should be able to raise and lower a towel on his erect penis by contracting this muscle.
Add the Kegels habit on Coach.me and do it daily when you go to the bathroom. Kegels are flexing and releasing your PC muscle. Also whenever you stop at red lights do a few Kegels. This is a little more long term sex Biohack, don’t expect immediate improvement. Good Looking Loser advises that…
It takes about 5 or 6 weeks to see slight improvements but results (ability to shoot cum, noticeably harder erections/orgasms, ejaculation control) come faster after that…
If you do Kegels 6 days a week for 4+ months you should see a dramatic improvement in your sexual health and ability to control your orgasm.
Kegels For Men (The Ultimate Guide to Kegel Exercises)
Good Looking Loser’s guide to Kegels for men. Kegels have many benefits for men including effective treating erectile…
Anal Sphincter Control
Practicing Tantric Semen Retention doesn’t mean you never get to ejaculate but part of the reason for practicing the Anal lock is to avoid a full ejaculation, which is especially correlated to the dip in performance and cognition.
Instead of thrusting to a frenzy just prior to ejaculation, approach the brink slowly and gently and savor the exquisite sensation of release, then deliberately squeeze off the urogenital canal with a deep contraction of the anus and penile shaft before the ejaculation is over. This will conserve about 20 to 30 percent of your semen while still providing the desired ejaculatory release. Immediately after emission, rhythmically contract the entire urogenital diaphragm for a minute or two by practicing anal sphincter locks. (5572–5576)
Each application of the anal lock keeps the semen from pouring forth. (5607)
You want to tighten the anal lock as you feel ejaculation coming and then release it at the beginning of an inhalation
When utilizing the anal lock for ejaculation control, you should apply it strongly while your lungs fill up, hold it tightly as you briefly retain the breath, but do not release it during exhalation, as you would in ordinary breathing exercises. (5692–5694)
“If you tighten the lower part of your bowels to shut off the flow of energy there, semen will stop moving naturally.” The sort of contraction he suggests begins with the same basic anal lock used in breathing exercises, but it is extended along the entire length of the perineum all the way to the urogenital tract. (5623–5625)
The Million Dollar Point
This is the most controversial semen retention technique. There’s a NO button on your perineum that you can press to keep yourself from ejaculating. It’s called the Million Dollar Point because apparently once upon a time a Chinese emperor paid a Taoist master a million dollars (or whatever currency they used) to show them this spot so that they could savor multiple orgasms. However, some Taoist gurus suggest that pressing this part of the body can do damage to the internal organs. This is a point of contention though; the authors of the two books I suggest on Taoism felt it was fine…
In addition to constricting the anal sphincter, he suggests pressing the Confluence of Yin, a vital point located midway between the anus and the scrotum. (5620–5621)
“Take the index and middle fingers of the left hand and press them at the point midway between anus and scrotum. If this is done with sufficient pressure and combined with deep, slow breathing and gnashing of the teeth, then the semen will not be lost.” ( 5626–5628)
There should be an indentation when you push at the correct spot. You will need to push your finger in up to your first joint. One multi-orgasmic man described his experience: “Pressing on the Million-Dollar Point for a while decreases my erection slightly and the danger of ejaculating greatly.”
According to the sexperts and numerous anecdotal reports, this does increase pleasure and intensity of orgasm…
Pushing on this spot can squeeze more blood into your penis, which will make it throb pleasurably.
1. When you feel that ejaculation is inevitable, press the three middle fingers (in other words, not your pinkie or thumb) of your dominant hand into the Million-Dollar Point just hard enough to stop the flow of semen.
2. Your fingers should be curved slightly and your middle finger should push directly against the urethral tube. This tube expands when you near ejaculation, so it should be easy to find. Your other two fingers should press on each side of the tube to hold it in place.
3. Contract your pc muscle, which encircles the prostate, and pull up your perineum. Draw the orgasmic energy up to the spine and to your brain.
4. Hold your fingers in place before, during, and after the contractions.
5. When the pumping has stopped completely, remove your fingers.
Here’s how one man described it…
“In the beginning I used the Finger Lock during self-cultivation. I could train myself to go closer and closer to the point of no return because I could use it if I went over. I would recommend practicing it first in self-cultivation so it is not awkward during lovemaking.”
You don’t want to use it with the same frequency as the other techniques
which you should not use more than once every two or three days when you start.
I say it’s worth trying but given the effectiveness of the other semen retention methods, I wouldn’t make it a regular part of my sex life.
The Squeeze Method
Just place the first two fingers of either hand on the underside of your penis, place your thumb on the top, and squeeze
For me this has not been a very effective technique for actual semen retention, I use it kind of as a last resort to come lightly — having not a full ejaculation but ejaculating just a little bit. I tried holding the squeeze for a long time and the ejaculate was always there afterward, so it’s not like you’re holding it in. Although, it does create some more pronounced full-body orgasmic sensations. Its benefit in lovemaking is that it will shorten the refractory period, so give your partner a massage or oral sex for like 15 minutes and then you’ll be ready to go again!
Since your testicles have to pull up close to the body in order to propel the semen out of the testes, pulling them away from your body can delay ejaculation.
These are the techniques that at first seemed the most wuwu and metaphysical to me, but in practice, they are just breathing and visualization exercises.
You must learn to draw your sexual energy out of your genitals and to circulate it through the rest of your body to truly master the Taoist techniques for experiencing multiple and whole-body orgasms and for improving your health.
More than any mechanical technique, the secret to stopping yourself from ejaculating is learning to pump your sexual energy away from your genitals and up through your spine to the rest of your body.
The Cool Draw, explained in the previous chapter is the prerequisite for the Big Draw
before attempting the Big Draw, you must make sure you are able to circulate your energy as described in the last exercise.
The Big Draw
The Big Draw is for when you are VERY aroused; in between hard as a rocket and ready to blow your load.
Michael Winn explains how the Big Draw works: “Ejaculation can happen only if there is enough energy in the local nerves and enough blood in the local muscles to trigger the muscle spasm. There’s nothing mystical about the Big Draw technique for stopping the ejaculatory spasm. You squeeze the pc muscles around the sperm ducts and then progressively pump the big muscles in the buttocks (and, if necessary, the foot, fist, and jaw muscles). These big muscles draw the blood away from the genitals. At the same time, you draw the energy away from the genital nerves by shifting your mental focus into a wave of nerve sensations traveling up your spine into your brain. The combination of these actions simply removes the blood and energy the genital muscles need in order to involuntarily spasm. It is as simple as that. All the squeezing and clenching is a bit crude, but it works. If any man practices properly and regularly, eventually he’ll get it. I have hundreds of students who have proved this.”
1. Stand and pleasure yourself until you have a strong erection but well before you reach the point of no return (thirty seconds to a minute before you would otherwise ejaculate).
2. Stop stimulating yourself and rest for a moment to regain control. Then simultaneously contract your pc muscle firmly around your prostate gland and clamp your toes down on the floor.
3. Inhale and draw your sexual energy away from the perineum toward your anus and spine by squeezing your buttocks tightly.
4. As if you were pumping the brakes on a car, contract in waves the muscles from your anus up your spine, each time taking a short inhalation. Rocking your spine back and forth as if you were riding a horse will also help the energy to move up the spine.
5. As the energy reaches the base of your skull, make sure your chin is tucked in gently to help the energy move from the spine into your head.
6. Roll your eyes up as if you were looking at the top of your head, which will help bring the energy all the way up to the crown of your head.
7. When you have pumped the energy up to the crown of your head, you have done one Big Draw. The state of your erection is a measure of how successfully you have been doing the Big Draw: as you draw the energy out of your genitals and up your spine, your erection should decrease.
8. Repeat steps 3 through 6 eight more times.
9. After you have pumped the energy up to the crown of your head nine times, use your mind, your eyes, and all your senses to spiral this creative sexual energy in your brain nine, eighteen, or thirty-six times, first in one direction, and then the other. When you have finished spiraling, rest for a while and experience the sensational feeling of energy in your brain, often felt as warmth and tingling, like a mini-orgasm.
10. When you feel that your brain is full, touch your tongue to your palate and let the energy flow down the Front Channel from your brain first to between your eyebrows, then to your nose, throat, heart, and solar plexus, and finally to your navel, where it can be stored.
That last step is apparently pretty important and not doing so may result in what they call the Kundalini Syndrome; according to the gurus this is an undesirable metaphysical condition where you become too aware — you’ll become overly sensitive to touch, light, sound, etc and you might see ghosts! I’ve said before that there was some danger in improperly practicing these techniques and that’s it. Unsurprisingly, on Pubmed, there’s no human research that’s been done to establish the scientific basis of this reported phenomena but I’ll keep touching my tongue to the roof of my mouth.
Rome was not built in a day and learning this skill, while not as difficult as say learning Russian, is going to take some consistent practice. If you have an understanding and patient partner in your life who you can practice with, good for you! Saying that this will spice up your relationship is quite the understatement.
If you’re single or don’t have a partner to practice with, no worries — the one thing that is mandatory is that you should plan on doing at least a little practice daily.
In the Bathroom
Funnily, what you do in the bathroom daily can prepare you to master your ejaculations…
Practice the anal lock a few times at the end of every bowel movement, using the squatting position. This helps propel residue feces downward and outward for a final evacuation (3368–3369)
Do this four or five times every visit to the bathroom. Practice locking the gates:
While urinating, a few seconds before the flow of urine stops, sharply lock the anus and contract the penile shaft to squeeze off the ureter and halt the flow, as if you were “holding it” while looking for a toilet. After a second or two, relax the contraction, let the flow of urine resume, then immediately squeeze it off again. (5700–5702)
Repeat this 3 to 5 times, or until no more urine spurts out when you squeeze, then hold the last contraction for 5 to 10 seconds while you tuck yourself back in and zip up. You can enhance the effects of this exercise by standing on your toes while doing it. (5703–5705)
Hold it in! A consistent way of building your muscles and control down there is to refrain from urination for a little longer than what’s comfortable. Once you finally urinate you’ll have a lot more pressure built up down there and it will exercise your ureter control.
20 Days to Multi-Orgasmic
Good things don’t come easy and usually entail some discomfort. Similar to a lot of beneficial habits the first couple times you try this it’s going to be uncomfortable.
The Tao recommends that you come about only two or three times for every ten lovemaking sessions, so as a goal in your initial practicing you will only ejaculate about 20% to 30% of the time. You want to get accustomed to not coming during sex or masturbation, which may be a totally alien experience to you.
In fact, your initial goal should be to do 3 or 4 sessions without ejaculation, these initial sessions will be quintessentially anticlimactic and likely short. Again, do them without visual stimulation so you can focus on the muscle and breath control.
Learning gurus advise that when taking on a new challenge deconstruct the skill to its component parts. So I do not suggest practicing every semen retention technique simultaneously, at least in the beginning.
You’re going to want to alternate techniques
Session 1 Anal Lock
Session 2 Ureter Control
Session 3 Pressing the Perineum Button
Session 4 Deep Abdominal Breathing
Repeat these 4 techniques
Session 5 Anal Lock
Session 6 Ureter Control
Session 7 Pressing the Perineum Button
Session 8 Deep Abdominal Breathing
You’ve tried each method twice now and probably figured out one that works a little better for you. So now start multi-tasking and focusing on breathing control on top of the other methods
Session 9 Anal Lock + Deep Abdominal Breathing
Session 10 Ureter Control + Deep Abdominal Breathing
Session 11 Pressing the Perineum Button + Deep Abdominal Breathing
Now combine the anal lock, Ureter control, and breathing
Session 12 Anal Lock + Ureter Control + Deep Abdominal Breathing
Session 13 Anal Lock + Ureter Control + Deep Abdominal Breathing
Session 14 Anal Lock + Ureter Control + Deep Abdominal Breathing
Now compare it to the Perineum button
Session 15 Pressing the Perineum Button + Deep Abdominal Breathing
Session 16 Pressing the Perineum Button + Deep Abdominal Breathing
Session 17 Pressing the Perineum Button + Deep Abdominal Breathing
Now try combining all techniques
Session 18 Anal Lock + Ureter Control + Pressing the Perineum Button + Deep Abdominal Breathing
Session 19 Anal Lock + Ureter Control + Pressing the Perineum Button + Deep Abdominal Breathing
Session 20 Anal Lock + Ureter Control + Pressing the Perineum Button + Deep Abdominal Breathing
After these initial 20 sessions, you’ll have a new degree of control over your ejaculations, you’ll find a combination of techniques and rhythms that works best for you.
Over the course of these initial 20 sessions, I’ll suggest that you slowly increase the amount of time you spend practicing — the first couple of sessions you want to keep under 5 minutes and towards the end 20 minutes or as long as your partner wants to go. Again, the main goal here is to only come about 20% — 30% of the sessions.
This practice is obviously going to be very arousing, resulting in some very blue balls and you’ll quickly find that it makes you a little mentally slow immediately following self cultivation. So I don’t suggest doing it directly before trying to go to work.
Probably the best thing to do following practicing is a mindfulness task, 20 minutes of meditation or 10 minutes of brain training, stretching, or vigorous exercise.
On your back is the best position for practicing not coming, it gets gravity working for you.
Practicing by Yourself?
However, unless you have a very willing partner I’d suggest you start by practicing these methods all by yourself. I’ll suggest that you do it without porn while fantasizing about someone from your personal sexual history, especially in the beginning, the intense audio-visual stimulation of porn will make it a whole lot trickier to focus on the muscle contractions necessary to control ejaculation. As you get better at injaculation you can use it more self recreationally if you want.
Up until now, your fapping has been a big waste of time and now it can actually be used to productively prepare you to be a better lover!
- To become a multi-orgasmic tantric man you must devote some time to mastering your breathing.
- Strengthen your PC muscle and anal control by practicing your Kegels and anal contractions while you do your business in the bathroom
- Self cultivating — practicing masturbating without coming — is crucial to becoming multi-orgasmic.
- Devote a bit of time to consistently practicing for about 20 days and you’ll be a lot closer to enjoying some awesome tantric sex.