The Hero’s Journey from No Fap to Tantric Sex
From my book How to Be Cross Eyed: Thriving Despite Your Physical Imperfection — a mémoire and lifehacking manifesto
If you’re not a man you may not find the content of the next two chapters particularly actionable but you might want to read it anyway as you’ll learn some very eye-opening things that many men don’t even really understand about themselves. The following chapters also discuss sex but have some more lifehacks that are relevant for the fairer sex.
If you no fap and implement the tantric sex hacks described here, I’d urge you to read my book, Don’t Stick Your Dick in a Blender, because you’re going to be getting laid (maybe a lot) and I don’t want you to royally fuck up your life by sleeping with the wrong kinds of women. Good, yet naive, men routinely wreck their lives because they “stick their dick in a blender” — having sex with the wrong kinds of women. STDs, unplanned pregnancies, false accusations, mental health headcases, and divorce make chasing skirts a dangerous game. If you want to “test drive” the book, download these sample chapters and read them at your leisure on your E-Reader device or smartphone with the Kindle app.
I’ll start by describing the first thing that men should NOT do if they want an amazing sex life…
Using Porn. Why No FAP…
No Fap: Not masturbating to porn
If you’re a man you’re going to need to choose between having a rowdy sex life and enjoying porn — sorry, you don’t get to have both! So much of our motivational psychology is just a manifestation of our selfish genes trying to get into the next generation. When you masturbate frequently with your own hand you deprive yourself profoundly of natural male aggression, drive, and zest for life.
If you are a moderate masturbator who is doing it like a couple of times a week, you’ll find that no fapping increases your motivation and energy by like 20%-25%. However, if you’ve got a real porn addiction, where it’s like an everyday thing or a couple of times a day, no fapping will really change your life, but it’s also going to be quite difficult. If you’re serious about this give a listen to this Free Domain Radio podcast interview with a very knowledgeable porn addiction expert who has some interesting things to say.
- If you’re a first-time no fapper try to just go two weeks. This is sufficient for you to experience a boost in testosterone from not orgasming.
- If you can go for 2 weeks, try going for a whole month. This amount of time gives your brain the time to start reprogramming its arousal system. 30 days of no fapping is a lot easier to accomplish if you drink no alcohol that month. So it’s better to just plan to abstain from both simultaneously.
- Then try going for 60 or 90 day blocks of no fapping. Once you develop this kind of discipline you’ll find that when you finally do use porn it’s kind of boring and uninspiring.
- If you keep practicing discipline and doing the kinds of things described in this book eventually you’ll get into an intimate relationship with a virtuous person who you’re enjoying sex with regularly and then there won’t really be much reason to watch porn — in fact, it will likely hurt your performance in bed!
I don’t take a moralizing approach to this.
I don’t see anything morally wrong with watching porn or masturbation. I put using porn in the same moral and hedonistic category as eating pizza…
- Pizza is not intrinsically good or bad.
- Eating pizza is a cheap yet consistent pleasure that doesn’t last long.
- Eating pizza every day is a bad idea that will make you profoundly unhealthy and generally unmotivated.
- You can eat pizza about once weekly but you won’t really be in ideal health.
- You could eat pizza once monthly and still be very healthy.
- You could eat pizza just a few times yearly and be in excellent health and not really miss pizza.
- You could completely give up pizza and replace it with a less pedestrian pleasure that gives you greater gastronomical enjoyment.
I’m a true hedonist who chooses the greater pleasure over the lesser pleasure and watching porn is a lesser pleasure compared to having a richer life because I’m motivated to go after everything that I really want thanks to the no fapping.
The sexiest piece of furniture that I ever owned (and grew to hate…)
Young Americans have a bit of an absurd coming of age tradition, at around 18 years old they move out of their parents’ homes and rent cheap and completely bare apartments in bad neighborhoods and then splurge their very limited cash reserves on buying crappy furniture and chintzy interior appointments.
Living around the world I’ve learned that many other cultures do this much more sensibly; young people move out in their mid-twenties when they are more advanced in their careers or when they get married and they often move into furnished apartments with roommates.
The experience of glowing with pride, sitting alone, in your new-to-you (yet funny-smelling) little apartment surrounded by a bunch of newly bought, cheap plastic stuff from Wal Mart is, as far as I can tell, a uniquely American one.
Many young Americans splurge disproportionate amounts of their income and savings on toys to show off to their friends who come over to their one-bedroom kingdoms; big-screen TVs, ridiculously overpowered stereo systems, guns, massive collections of bottles of alcohol, etc.
Like so many male mammals, a young Jonathan Roseland was intent on converting his bedroom, in his tiny abode, into the ultimate seduction chamber…
I fell in love with this ridiculous style of mirrored black lacquer bedset, it was about 12 feet wide by 8 feet tall with huge 6-foot mirrors that reflected everything, it also had chrome dimmer lights and a secret compartment with a champagne case.
They cost about $2000 brand new but I managed to score an already loved one for just $300 off Craigslist.
To make it even more over the top I purchased about 10 body length mirrors which I placed opposite the mirrored bed set, kind of turning my bedroom into a funhouse of infinite reflections.
I moved a lot, every 6–12 months we had to disassemble this ridiculous thing. This damned thing required at least 3 people to move it. Every time its massive size, weight or proportions managed to injure (just a little bit) someone who I had convinced to help me move it.
It broke down into about 8 separate pieces that had to be put together like a jigsaw puzzle, requiring hours of tedious teamwork, yet I never managed to fit it together just right so it looked the way it was supposed to.
This was such a cantankerous thing to own that I grew to hate it more than the leaky, squeaky old Porsche I once had. I was truly relieved the day I sold it. Good riddance!
The advice I would go back and give a younger me is that the quantity and quality of your sex life are WAY more about your habits and what you know than it is about what you have.
Losing my virginity to a spy…
People often cannot believe it when I tell them that I lost my virginity to a spy, the true story is less glamorous and cinematic than it may sound…
She wasn’t a spy when I met her at about 19 years old at a foam party (if you don’t know what this is, look it up on Youtube) in a nightclub, she was just another young black single mother reveling in the prime of her sexual market value on a Sunday night when she probably should have been home with her son. After some sexy dancing, she announced quite frankly that she wanted to sleep with me. But it took me about two years after that to actually close the deal. Horny young men have an amazing capacity to talk themselves out of getting laid, at least I did!
A few days after meeting her she invited me to spend the night with her. I drove to the rough side of Denver where she lived. She instructed me not to ring her doorbell because she lived with her mom. I texted her and she beckoned me into her darkened house. In her bedroom, I found her significantly less frisky than when we first met under the strobe lights in the club. I unrealistically expected the emotional momentum of our initial interaction to magically reignite. We got to chatting and we just talked, for hours! I assumed that she would initiate things and she probably assumed I would. I left frustrated and confused around 2:00 AM.
I was friendzoned. As a man when you don’t make a bold move when it’s invited you relegate yourself to the friendzone. And she actually turned out to be a decent friend. She had a clubbing clique of other attractive young women, which she ingratiated me with. She would call me at least once a week to go out clubbing with them. I wasn’t getting laid but I guess this was better than going clubbing alone or with my drinking buddies. Clubbing with women instead of merely to chase women gave me a new perspective. For women, the prelude to sex (or even just feeling sexy) itself is a visceral pleasure. I remember how the girls relished getting together pre-club just to get dressed and dolled up together. I was always in a hurry to get to the club or party but these girls seemed to enjoy preparing themselves even more than the actual event. I also didn’t realize just how much attention attractive young women receive. This was slightly before the era of mass smartphone usage when men were bolder about approaching women. These girls had a seemingly boundless number of options. I remember two underaged girls that would tag along with us, they were too young to get into the clubs so they would actually ride downtown with us and then sit in the car in the parking lot for 2 hours just so that after the clubs let out they could walk around downtown in their skanky outfits for 30 minutes and relish the attention showered on them by drunk men stumbling out of clubs. For women, the attention of a sexy man is just as intoxicating as the strongest drink.
I didn’t let on that I was a virgin. Being surrounded by women, it was easy to pretend that I was a sexually desired man. Women will tell you that the cocky thing doesn’t work and that they see right through it but I don’t think they are being honest. Being arbitrarily and irrationally cocky is actually pretty attractive to a lot of women, the younger and more vapid, the better it works. Something in their genes whispers to them…
This guy is so obviously full of bullshit that him being THIS confident for no good reason means that even if he’s a shitty provider at least 50% of his offspring will be similarly effective seducers — that’s bet worth taking! He might be a cocky asshole but he guarantees our genetic immortality.
Up until then, I didn’t understand just how promiscuous women could be. Promiscuity is a pretty bad deal for women; they get their hearts broken, they get STDs, they have to get abortions, they become single mothers and it ruins their future chances of a happy, successful marriage — but their selfish genes don’t give a damn! I was amazed how they would carelessly and cavalierly go home with guys whose first names they barely knew and shocked by how they shamed and disregarded men who tried to court them with a modicum of gentlemanliness or caught feelings.
The woman who I originally met among the soap suds of the foam party had been taking online college classes in criminal justice. After she received her degree she began a career with the Colorado Department of Justice, from there she would get jobs at mortgage companies and financial services firms (industries rife with corruption and white-collar crime) where she would spy on them and gather evidence of corporate malfeasance.
It was around that time that she very causally took my virginity one night. After a night out on the dancefloors of Denver, I drove her home, asked for a glass of water inside, and left 2 hours later, finally devirginized! We slept together several times after that but she quickly found another boy toy. Slightly more red-pilled on female nature by that time I was much happier to have her as a friend than a girlfriend.
She would go on to infiltrating actual crime rings. Being a black single mother who was quite social in the nightlife scene probably made her a lot more of an unsuspicious infiltrator of the criminal world. She admitted to me that in the course of this work she once saw a dead body of someone killed by the people she spied on. This freaked her out and she got out of this dangerous line of work. If she was still a spy there is no way I’d share this story.
When I was younger some of the guys I was friends with had, in retrospect, very unethically hedonistic sex lives. They were really proud of having casual, unprotected sex with lots of different partners. They would commit to being one girl’s boyfriend so that they could have all the unprotected sex they wanted with her and then when we were having a guys night out after a few drinks they would start trying to hook up with other girls, sometimes successfully. Pretty unethical yet standard male behavior.
I’ve stayed friends with some of these guys on Facebook and what I see is that almost all of them as a result now have some severely limited freedom. A lot of them have kids, some of them are single parents, some of them have crazy stress from and financial commitments to the women they made babies with. A lot of them are committed in one way or another to really mediocre women. Some of them confided in me that they have spent thousands of dollars on abortions over the years.
Thinking back on my most reckless decade of life I avoided ending up (literally or figuratively) in that bad neighborhood of the single mother who took my virginity because I practiced some sexual self discipline.
- I didn’t play Russian roulette with a lot of unprotected casual sex.
- I had a modicum of temperance — I partied sober a lot and didn’t drink myself into oblivion every week.
- I didn’t succumb to the pixel powered pleasure world of porn. I practiced no fap and cultivated an empowering tantric lifestyle.
Tantric practice is how you up your sex game — If you want a woman to really treat you like a king, you’re going to need to really spike her Oxytocin — the love hormone — which you could do the way I did by actually taking exogenous Oxytocin with my girlfriend but it’s a lot more fun to do it the old fashioned way — making sure she orgasms during sex. If your woman experiences more orgasms than she’s accustomed to with you Oxytocin will make her quite addicted to you.
You may think you’re pretty good at sex but you can always get a lot better by habituating a tantric practice; this entails…
- Strengthening your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle by doing Kegels.
- Practicing Taoist breathing techniques.
- Practicing masturbating (WITHOUT porn) and holding back from ejaculating — we call this self cultivation.
There are two books on the topic of tantric semen retention:
The Tao Of Health, Sex, and Longevity: A Modern Practical Guide to the Ancient Way
The Multi-Orgasmic Man: Sexual Secrets Every Man Should Know
I created a course for men specifically on the tantric techniques and lifestyle on my website, which you’ll want to check out if this piques your curiosity along with reading those books. In the remainder of this chapter, I’ll synopsize the techniques and will quote liberally from the Tao Of Health and The Multi-Orgasmic Man.
This may sound like wu-wu eastern spiritual nonsense but it has really made a difference for me, so I recommend it highly. I recall several years ago before I learned this stuff I seduced an 18-year-old girl in Kiev; I had been no fapping for some time and came after about 5 minutes of her riding me cowgirl. She was unimpressed and not interested in seeing me again in huge contrast to my experiences having attained some competence with tantric semen retention methods.
Why Semen Retention?
No fap really is a commonality among high performing men.
In short, it increases testosterone sharply and puts your cognition into overdrive because not coming for an extended period of time convinces your evolutionary psychology that you are not passing your genes on. On a biological level, your genes are screaming…
This guy is not making any babies! Gene death! Red alert! We need to really give him a BUNCH of motivational fuel and dial his cognitive powers way up!
But there are some notable downsides to no fap
- If, like a lot of single guys, you no fap so you will have the motivation to get over your social anxiety — approach, date, and actually try to get laid — it will work for that purpose! But after no fapping for 7–10 days (or more) you’ll find that things are pretty anti-climatic in the bedroom when you finally get down to business with someone you’re really attracted to. If you come after 3 minutes, sometimes she’ll totally forgive you and return to your bed, but sometimes it’s a job interview and you won’t get a callback. This has definitely happened to me a few times. Tantric methods will give you the stamina to keep them coming back!
- If you’re in a healthy marriage or long term relationship you are going to be having unprotected sex and ejaculating with your partner with about the same weekly frequency that I think the average single guy gets off to porn. Obviously having sex with another real human is a whole lot healthier than making a mess by yourself while transfixed by a glowing screen but it has the same detrimental effect on testosterone and your immune system. Tantra is transformative for long term relationships and actually a loyalty biohack.
- No fap makes you really horny and horny you is known to make bad decisions, isn’t he? No fapping will reorganize your priorities around socializing and dating. Unless you are actively Biohacking your self control no fapping may really put your lizard brain in charge and you may not be happy with the smelly, wet places that scaley bastard drags you off into! There are several tantric methods that will help you better yield your sexual energies.
- You may not have a raging porn addiction. If you’ve got a handle on your porn consumption and intermittently throughout the year do 30 day periods abstaining completely from it, if you so choose, tantric methods will even dial up the visceral pleasure of porn and can be used to abrogate its negative effects.
Ejaculation vs Performance
Both Muhammad Ali and the musician Miles Davis spoke frankly about the correlation between their elite performances and coming during sexual intercourse…
What neither Davis nor Ali realizes is that sexual intercourse without ejaculation prior to a fight or a gig would improve their performances even more than if they abstained altogether. (4882–4883)
Taoist Daniel Reed urges health-conscious men to give up masturbation after their 20's.
By the time they reach 30, men should entirely give up this self-defeating habit and start conserving semen exclusively for intercourse with women. (4896–4897)
Ejaculation vs Cognition
In case you haven’t noticed ejaculation makes you retarded! Try doing brain training after you come and you’ll observe a significant drop off in your scores. Even the next day you’ll be a bit slower; grasping for your words, solving problems slower, you’ll likely sleep in and have lingering tiredness throughout the day. Biohackers call it an orgasm hangover. Note the difference in my verbal skills between these two videos…
Day after orgasm Nootropics EU Review: a Pharmaceutical Smart Drugs Source for European Biohackers
Pharma Grade Nootropics Sources in Europe
It would be an understatement to say that European Biohackers have faced a challenged in getting good smart drugs. So…
“Waking Up” Review: Gaze Into the Abyss — Lifehacking Spirituality without Superstition
This book is less anti-religious than you might guess from its title. It’s really about meditation practice which is…
Loss of Cerebrospinal Fluids
Semen retention is a “Nootropic” for enhanced cognition because it conserves essential biological resources.
It’s a well-known medical fact that semen and cerebrospinal fluids consist of the same basic ingredients, so preserving semen nourishes the brain by making more essential nutrients available to it. (5203–5205)
20 percent of male semen is composed of cerebrospinal fluid. (5508–5509)
You may also help minimize the loss of essence and energy due to semen emission by learning to “come lightly” (5571–5572)
Research that appeared in the New York Times concurs:
“The new work suggests that ceaseless sperm production takes its toll on a male, perhaps requiring the use of complex enzymes or biochemical processes that have harmful metabolic byproducts…
Creating sperm is far more difficult than scientists had imagined, demanding a diversion of resources that might otherwise go into assuring a male’s long-term health…”
In Worm, at Least, Making Sperm Is Found to Shorten a Male’s Life
“This is a fascinating and a very clear observation,” said Dr. Philip Anderson of the University of Wisconsin in…
The Rolling Orgasm
The Multi-Orgasmic Man quotes a Dr. Herant Katchadourian:
“Some men are able to inhibit the emission of semen while they experience the orgasmic contractions: in other words they have nonejaculatory orgasms. Such orgasms do not seem to be followed by a refractory period [loss of erection], thereby allowing these men to have consecutive or multiple orgasms like women.”
This is really getting to have your cake and eat it too!
With diligent practice, some men can even learn to approach the very brink of ejaculation and enjoy all the exquisite sensations associated with it without spilling a drop of semen. (5801–5802)
Have you ever had a really crazy night that culminated in you ejaculating into an equally crazy woman? For the next few weeks, you walked around beating yourself up mentally over the prospect of having to pay her money for the next 18 years. This is something that a multi-orgasmic man has to worry about a whole lot less…
men too may experience sequential miniorgasms without actual ejaculation, and it dispels the notion that birth control is primarily a female responsibility. (5813–5814)
It’s important to mention though that it’s definitely not an airtight contraceptive option.
This is the “pre-ejaculate” that they warn you about in sex-education classes, so you will need to make sure that you continue to use birth control even if you don’t ejaculate.
The next chapter will further discuss herbal birth control and natural contraception.
Whole Body Orgasms
Wilhelm Reich, in his controversial book The Function of Orgasm, was the first to argue that orgasm involved the whole body and not just the genitals. In the East, the Taoists have long known that orgasm could be a whole-body experience and developed techniques for expanding orgasmic pleasure.
The definition of a multi-orgasmic man is:
They tested thirty-three men who claimed to be multi-orgasmic — that is, to be able to have two or more orgasms without losing their erection.
I’ll suggest that you make just that a short term Biohacking goal for the next 3 months — to be able to have two or more orgasms without losing erection.
In the words of one multi-orgasmic man, “A whole-body orgasm is unbelievable. Once you experience it you never go back to a genital orgasm.”
It’s a far cry from the six-second orgasm most men have learned to settle for as the “normal” male orgasm.
Here’s another stirring testimonial of just how it feels…
“We were making love and I thought I was going to come and I started doing my deep breathing, and as I was doing my deep breathing my head started to kind of electrify — to tingle. Like little sparks going on inside, tingly little things that went up the back of my neck a little bit. It started rushing back and forth in my head. And I almost thought I was going to get dizzy — it was so good. And I thought, ‘If this goes any further, I might just lift off!’ It lasted for — it’s hard to know what time is like in bed — but at least a minute. It was a long orgasm. Just tingling, tingling, tingling. It would go away and then come back. My body was ringing like a bell.”
If that doesn’t motivate you to cultivate this skill I don’t know what would!
4 orgasms per lovemaking session is statistically average. Yes! Really!
During Hartman and Fithian’s research, the average number of orgasms a multi-orgasmic man had was four. Some men had the minimum of two, and one had as many as sixteen! In a study by Marion Dunn and Jan Trost, most men reported having from two to nine orgasms per session.
“Our lovemaking has always been good, but now it is so much richer and more balanced with both of us experiencing many waves of orgasm. Multi-orgasms, though, are just the beginning of the profound changes that this practice has made in our relationship. Our love is much deeper and more intimate now.”
Male multiple orgasms: a descriptive study. — PubMed — NCBI
Arch Sex Behav. 1989 Oct;18(5):377–87.
Being a more sexual man
You’ve likely heard pickup artists or gurus speak in unhelpful generalizations about being more confident, intentful, more direct, more alpha, etc but they often fail to give real specifics as to how to sub-communicate this. That’s just what this tantric practice will imbue.
you may have more sexual energy than you are used to, and you will need to learn to channel this excess energy… “When I started the practice, all of my relationships became sexualized.
I’ve struggled with porn addiction. You probably have too. Many guys read a few articles about the personal development benefits of no fap, practice a little self control and are able to quit porn cold turkey or at least cut back sharply. But a smaller proportion of guys have a more hardcore addiction; they have tried quitting porn multiple times and like heroin addicts they shamefully relapse consistently. Going cold turkey doesn’t work for them. Just like many heroin addicts need to transition to a lesser drug, like Kratom to overcome their self destructive vice; a tantric self cultivation practice can be a way of reprogramming the damage a porn addiction does to the psyche.
I first heard of semen retention from the pick up artist Jon Matrix who apparently has gone months without ejaculating while in a serious long term relationship. He reported enthusiastically that semen retention actually made him a more loyal boyfriend. Which makes sense to my understanding of evolutionary biology. Men are programmed to cheat; after we’ve been sleeping and ejaculating with one woman for a period our biology assumes we’ve reproduced successfully and urges us to stray and spread our seed elsewhere, but if you aren’t ejaculating with your woman this tendency to get bored and pursue side ponanny is blunted. At least that’s how I’ve heard a few men describe it.
It also is likely to make your partner more loyal. One man admitted “Once I ejaculate, the pillow looks better than my girlfriend does.” which is funny but this kind of very ordinary male stamina will not reward you with an extraordinary relationship. In our dysfunctional society and increasingly asymmetrical sexual marketplace, training yourself tantric semen retention is the stargate you must pass through to become a really great lover that doesn’t have to worry about infidelity on behalf of your partner.
Frequency of Male Orgasm
In the Taoist traditions that seem to be the originators of no fap, you’ll find different formulas for determining how frequently you should be orgasming. Some of them are kind of silly like if it’s the winter season and you are in the spring season of the relationship with your partner your frequency or orgasm should be X.
However, the two formulas that make the most sense to me are…
- Your age minus 7 divided by 4 is the minimum days to have between ejaculations to maintain health. So I’m 33 years old, so I shouldn’t orgasm more than once every 6–7 days. You can pretty easily figure out what your number is.
- The other recommendation to maximize happiness and productivity is once every 30 days.
A man may attain health and longevity if he practices an ejaculation frequency of twice monthly, or 24 times in a year. (5487–5489)
Or to come about a third of the times that you have sex.
When having sexual intercourse with women, a man should emit semen only 2 or 3 times in ten. (5529–5530)
I should admit that I don’t exactly practice what I preach here, I often come a lot more frequently than every 6 days. Semen has a potent antidepressant effect for the women who consume it, sexperts enthusiastically recommend that women swallow if they want to enhance their mood. I care deeply about the woman in my life and she’s noticeably happier and generally more pleasant when I’m not so stingy with my semen which I feel is healthy at least in the medium term because I have a very good diet and take a lot of health supplements that feed my body the building blocks of everything that underlies my male essence.
Attention, Ladies: Semen Is An Antidepressant
Vaginal exposure to semen elevates women’s mood.
A lot of men abstain from sex; whether it’s out of religious conviction or simply because they live in a boring town in the middle of nowhere tantric self cultivation is their best option. I remember as a young Christian man trying to masturbate without fantasizing about pretty girls I knew (which is a sin!) Youth pastors could save the young men they lead a lot of needless self-flagellation and judgment if they taught them to do self cultivation as a mindfulness practice instead. In some religious sects, they command young men to not masturbate at all, which I hope we can all agree is simply ridiculous. The penis is like any other appendage or muscle in that it shrinks if you don’t use it:
The penis actually withdraws into the body if it is not used regularly, as many older men who are not sexually active have witnessed. The Taoists knew that it is as important to exercise your sexual organs as any other part of your body.
Domain-Specific Self Control Generalizes
This is going to be discipline intensive. It’s not going to be really hard work or time-intensive in the way that training for an ironman or studying to pass the bar would be but it’s going to certainly be an acute challenge of your self discipline. It’s really going to be worth it though! Rarely does the application of self discipline pay off so viscerally as in the experience of full body orgasm.
To build your discipline muscles I encourage you to simultaneously abstain from…
- No Fap — a full month of no porn whatsoever.
- No Alcohol — Not a drop (not even socially!) for a month.
You’ll find these two practices have a symbiotic, helpful effect on your self control. Throughout my year I have periods of coasting and periods of sprinting productivity. During the sprints, I always go off booze and completely off porn and it really does supplement my productivity. If you don’t have a daily way of tracking these habits you will fail and you may not become multi-orgasmic, you could mark off days on your calendar or get an accountability buddy but I recommend the free app Coach.me.
Coach.me is a seriously addictive habit formation App and social accountability tool. Succeed at everything. Coach.me…
At this point, you’re probably pretty excited to try this! I could tell you to do something like just focus on breathing; spend the next two weeks just habituating belly breathing. But that sounds boring! Instead, tonight masturbate without porn, and without ejaculation, it will be a little weird and unsatisfying. Do it with lotion like normal and stop well before you come.
Chapter 11 of the classic personal development book Think and Grow Rich is about how sex drive is intertwined with the rest of life.
There are other mind stimulants, some of which have been listed, but no one of them, nor all of them combined, can equal the driving power of sex. (p. 132)
Among the greatest, and most powerful of these stimuli is the urge of sex. When harnessed and transmuted, this driving force is capable of lifting men into that higher sphere of thought which enables them to master the sources of worry and petty annoyance which beset their pathway on the lower plane. (p. 129)
Think & Grow Rich
I first read this when I was like 19 or 20 years old, I’m 31 now. I’ve heard people say that this book kind of grows…
The Cool Draw
This is a method for transmuting your sexual energy in your balls into cognitive horsepower.
If I ever get bored of being a smart drug dealer and traveling nomadic developer and decide to become a rapper instead I think my rapper name will be Cool Draw, this is…
the Taoist technique for drawing your sexual energy out of your testicles and circulating it through the body before you get hot and bothered.
The Cool Draw is also called testicle breathing
This is a quintessential biohack for hedonistic optimization
You will be able to feel this orgasmic wave of pleasure at any time without even having to be sexually aroused.
On the benefits of the Cool Draw
Michael Winn explains: “I have taught this technique to thousands of Western men and found that it is the quickest and safest way for men to relieve feelings of sexual frustration and horniness as well as to increase the flow of creative energy to their heart and brain. This technique lets a man cultivate his sexual energy anytime and anyplace — standing in line at the bank, sitting in his office, or even when he wakes up in the middle of night from a sexual dream with an erection.”
1. Touch or cup your testicles with one hand to warm them up until you feel a slight tingling or the first stirring of your sexual energy. (If you are in a public place, you can simply think a sexual thought or fantasy.)
2. Inhale and gently pull up on the muscles around the testicles, the perineum, and the anus. As you inhale and pull your muscles up, imagine that you are sipping this sexual energy and drawing it from your testicles to your perineum and on to your anus and tailbone.
3. Exhale and relax your muscles, but keep your attention on your rising sexual energy.
4. Continue to inhale and pull up and then exhale and relax several more times until you can feel a warm or tingling sensation at your perineum. Once you are able to move this sexual energy, you can simply begin using the spine like a straw, sipping the energy from your testicles and perineum right up the entire length of your spine to the base of your skull. (Gently tucking your chin in will help the energy move from your spine into your head.) Do this for five to ten minutes or until you become aware of a light or tingling feeling in your head. With your mind, try to circle the energy in your head.
5. Finally, touch your tongue to the roof of your mouth half an inch behind your front teeth where the palate curves down… Your tongue works like a light switch that connects your front and back channels, allowing the energy to flow down the front of your body to your navel.
Some positioning advice for your self cultivation
In the beginning, do not lie on your back during these exercises
While I’ve not practiced this as extensively as the other tantric methods; I have noticed a subtle feeling of energy and a bit of sensation behind the ears in the back of my head, as I practiced the Cool Draw during my meditation sessions I’ve noticed that I do feel more pleasure and energy throughout my body. I have particularly productive writing or creative sessions after performing the Cool Draw for 5–10 minutes. I can’t say yet if it’s had an effect on my ability to retain semen and multi orgasm.
How the Cool Draw moves energy along your microcosmic orbit — discussed further in the next chapter.
contracting your anus is the most important part of the practice because it is this squeezing action that literally pumps the energy up your spine.
One Tao adept reported that the Cool Draw enables him to meter and turn down his sex drive as desired…
I personally think it’s one of the best things to ever happen to me…
The Cold Draw on the other hand is something I have been doing recently for a couple months, and it’s fantastic. It’s a pity that it does not receive more attention, because I think it accomplishes what most guys who are on this path are really looking for. Now I can go about my day and see pretty girls and feel neutral about it. Don’t get me wrong if they are pretty I of course recognize this, but more in the same way that you look at a sunset, landscape, or architecture that you think is pretty. You know it’s aesthetically pleasing to the eye, but you don’t feel sexual desire for such an object. This has had the great effect of allowing me to focus on developing love in my heart with out the distractions of lust, desire, and attachment.
My advice in learning the cold draw is to be patient with it, and take your time. Like anything new that you try to learn it’s kind of slow at first, and a bit tricky to get the feel for it. But if you are patient and stick with it, you will get the hang of it
Since the Cool Draw is the foundational skill set of moving energy along the microcosmic orbit I’ll suggest that you practice it every day. The ideal time to practice it is when you’re aroused, even if just slightly…
- If you see a pretty girl across the street
- If a risque advertisement catches your eye
- If a female coworker drops her pen
That’s your reminder to do the Cool Draw. Draw partner!
The next chapter will delve deeper into the nine techniques for tantric sex.
- You either get to have a good sex life or you get to enjoy porn regularly. You don’t get to have both.
- The quantity and quality of sex that you enjoy are much more about what you know than what you have.
- Practice a modicum of self discipline with your sexuality and in the long term, you’ll have a lot more good sex.
- These Tantric techniques are how Napoleon Hill’s sexual transmutation is done practically.