The Secret Society Infiltration Model for “Networking”

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  • Those annoying people that send you unsolicited messages on LinkedIN asking to get coffee with you to talk about some opportunity.
  • That guy you barely know who calls you up out of the blue to invite you to attend some MLM recruitment pow wow.
  • Getting invited to awesome parties
  • It’s the inside track to great job and business opportunities
  • Along with finding true love and companionship

The Secret Society Infiltration Model for networking

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  • If there’s a public thinker you follow drop them a line thanking them for their work and ask if there’s any groups or people they recommend you connect with in your area.

You get what you pay for

If you’ve found networking unfruitful up to this point, it’s likely because you’re limiting yourself to the free options where you’re just going to meet other people who can afford free networking. The top influencers, entrepreneurs and thought leaders invest thousands of dollars (or more) every year in networking.
You’ll hear about a conference or a retreat done in some luxury resort at some far away exotic locale and you may think…
All those people wasting all that money to travel all that way just to do the same networking they could do over Skype!
The high cost is precisely the reason it’s worth it! By setting the barrier to entry at several thousand dollars they filter out everyone who’s less than totally elite from attending. While you don’t have to drop thousands of dollars to network effectively, a modest yearly or monthly budget devoted to it will seriously ROI.

A lot of jaded people who aren’t very good networkers will tell you that…

Social Networks

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I list this one first because I’ve found it’s a pretty great network. It’s a social network that connects expats with locals at events that are best described as swanky. They do parties at venues that are a little more upscale and often charge a cover to keep out the riffraff. At Internations events I’ve met doctors, inventors, local business people and even politicians. They have a free membership option and a $80/yearly option that includes more niche events and the option to host events. I’ve actually gotten paid and laid thanks to Internations so if you want to do some power networking it’s probably worth the $80. If you join Internations, add me.


The world’s most popular event directory and ticketing platform. Since a lot of the events on Eventbrite you have to pay to attend, you’ll find a lot more professional organization. As a social networking website I don’t think there’s a function to connect with other users. You’ll have to actually collect people’s contact details at the events. You’ll find a lot of courses and classes on Eventbrite, which could be great places to meet people if you don’t mind spending some money. They have a smartphone app that I recommend downloading and taking a look at like once a week.

Here you’ll find interest groups in your local area that have between several and several hundred members that will host events weekly or monthly. is very geeky, a lot of the groups and events you’ll find on it are focused around software development and IT, which can be great for business and job opportunities if that’s what your career is.
One advantage is that it’s pretty easy to connect to the moderators of the groups who are often more influential.
Download their app, as far as I can tell all the meetups and functions of the social network are free.


The popular flatsharing and vacation rental directory is actually pretty good for meeting people. You’ll either host or rent a space via the site, it’s definitely not just a digital transaction, there is some expectation of interaction and socializing between the two parties. Traveling the world I’ve met a couple of Airbnb hosts that I really got along with and we’ve remained friends.


This is the social network for travelers; ostensibly its purpose is for travelers to find locals who will let them sleep on their couches for free, I’ve never actually used it for that purpose though.
I’ve been to a lot of Couchsurfing events around the world and they are almost always just a bunch of rowdy backpackers swilling cheap beer, swapping tales of drunken buffoonery and talking about how cheap the drugs are in this country and how cheap the hookers are in that country. And they are usually sausage fests.
However, I have actually made some friends through it and found cool things to do via CS. It’s worth joining, logging into your account dashboard and taking a look at what’s going on once or twice a week.


The world’s most popular social network is surprise, surprise actually quite useful for networking if you use it right.
Facebook Events, is the section of Facebook where you can see popular events going on near you. A lot of times I just use this function to find good parties, nightlife and salsa events. The benefit is that you can see how many people are likely going to attend an event. In my experience if an event has +40 people marked as attending it’s usually pretty worthwhile.
Facebook groups, are where some of the more meaningful discussions and connections happen on Facebook. The best way to find Facebook groups is just to search interest+city (for example) and you’ll find local groups devoted to almost anything you can think of. Often you’ll have to ask to be a part of the groups before you can contribute to the discussion.
Facebook can be quite detrimental to your networking gravitas if you waste time browsing the newsfeed (stop wasting time doing that!)
Unless you have a really great profile (like I do) and post things that really engage your friends and followers; more is less on Facebook. Sometimes I’ll meet some new person that seems cool but upon connecting with them on Facebook I’m revolted to see that their profile simply consists of bathroom selfies, drunk photos, snarky political outbursts, reposting platitude picture memes and sharing pop music videos. Don’t do this.
There’s a lot of great networkers out there that flat out refuse to use Facebook. It’s not mandatory for networking.

Twitter, Instagram or Snapchat

The popularity contest social networks are quite useless for meaningful networking if you are…
a) Not very popular
b) Not a hot girl
I follow some popular thought leaders on these platforms but they have been almost completely ineffective at connecting me to people on the ground that I want to meet.


If there’s one social network that’s worth playing the popularity contest game with, Youtube is it! I will with some frequency meet people in real life who have found me through my Youtube channel.
On Youtube your discoverability is based primarily on the quality and quantity of your content. Youtube comments were a (bad) joke for a while but due to some recent changes by Youtube the quality of the conversation has improved. You can actually make some meaningful connections by commenting on the right Youtube videos.

Having Fun

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“Bringing Value”

You’ve probably already heard that to be a more effective networker you need to bring value — which is totally true but it’s a topic worthy of its own chapter so I’m just going to mention it in passing here.

Go Offline

Most really effective networking happens offline; as in not via a screen, outside of your house with handshakes and raising of drinks not with swipes and clicks.

To Summarize

  • Networking matters. It’s not just a fad for pretentious, stylish people. It pays off if you do it right.
  • You can 10X your networking by doing it within high affinity groups instead of just going to “networking” parties.
  • Often with free networking functions you get what you pay for. The best networkers invest a not insignificant amount of money in their networking.
  • The social networks can be good for your networking if you use them right but they can also be a big waste of time.

This is a chapter from my mémoire and lifehacking manifesto.

Order it from Amazon or directly here on my own website.

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Watch: Book Announcement “How to Be Cross Eyed” My mémoire and lifehacking manifesto

Adventuring philosopher, Pompous pontificator, Writer, K-Selected Biohacker, Tantric husband, Raconteur & Smart Drug Dealer 🇺🇸

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